Dec. 14, 2015 - Joy to the World!

I learned yesterday that this is probably the last Christmas on earth for a friend of mine. Barring a miracle, she will not be here next year. 

I remember spending Christmas with my mom when she was terminal - when her cancer was treatable but not curable. 

Christmas looks different when it may be your last. Little details seem much less important. Spending time with those closest to you and truly ENJOYING traditions together - whatever those look like. There is nothing more important. 

The quality of our lives is actually better when we keep this perspective in mind. When we treasure this year, this day, this MOMENT - because we aren't promised another moment, another day, another Christmas. 

Tony and I are taking a different look at Christmas this year, compared to other years. We are investing more in memories than in things. We are spending time with friends and family, enjoying the moments, and not worrying so much about whether we have the perfect whatever... recipe, gift, etc. People won't remember what you gave them, what you cooked, what you wore, as much as they will remember the time they spent with you. 

The best gift we can give as we head into the next 10 days is the gift of ourselves, being present for each moment that God gives us! 

Joy to the World!!

Dec. 6, 2015 - Radical Joy

Last Sunday night, I came down with a HEADACHE (the kind where you are dizzy, nauseous and alternating burning up and freezing). It has been with me all week, with periodic breaks which have been wonderful!! 

The Christmas decorations we started to put up last weekend are only partially finished, because walking around seems to make me want to throw up. The house is a mess, and I need to go to the grocery store. smile emoticon

That is what is happening in the physical realm. Not so much fun! 

But Tony and I were talking today about how very blessed we are, in so many ways. There are so many tough issues that people are dealing with - and although we don't know why this new health stuff is going on right now, it is manageable. 

The conclusion? 

We will choose radical joy! I came across this today - I posted it 4 or 5 years ago, and God used these words to encourage me and to remind me how crucial it is to find the joy in each day!!

"Choosing joy in your everyday life means more than just knowing the right things to think. The correct passages to quote. The theological doctrines of joy.

Choosing joy is a radical decision to honor God by experiencing the depths of God's promises to us. It's desiring Him above all else, rejoicing in His character, and living joyfully, according to His Word.

Radical joy is sin-destroying, world-changing, wound-healing, other-centered, and mission-minded. Radical joy creates a God-glorifying life. This year, may we choose radical, sold-out joy. Come alive joy. Passionate joy. Change-me-competely kind of joy." - Angela Thomas 

Life can be frustrating. It's not always easy. But we can find it. We can dig deep and choose joy. Joy IS there to choose and to use as our spiritual weapon against whatever comes against us. No matter what we are dealing with, God is with us and He will NEVER leave us or forsake us! His plans are best!!

Good tidings of great joy to you!!

Nov. 26, 2015 - Looking Back

A year ago at Thanksgiving, I was recovering from major surgery and hoped that would be the end of my cancer story. It wasn't. I didn't know that this year would include chemo and eye surgeries and a bone scan - and I don't know what 2016 holds - but I am thankful for the faithfulness of God! The words of this article resonate with me - praying for all my friends and family who are struggling today!

"Through the hard times, the most profound lesson I’m learning involves redefining of my definition of Thanksgiving. I am challenged to be more than just “thankful”.

I am challenged to do something even more difficult—I’m challenged to trust.

I am proclaiming right now that in times of suffering, a heart of gratitude means more than just saying “thank you”—it means believing that God is who He says He is. Believing that He is good, that He is love, and that He is for me. Believing that He never changes, that He never fails, and that He is working all things for what is good.

Whatever it is you are struggling through right now, may this Thanksgiving be a reminder of God’s everlasting faithfulness for your life.

Whatever it is that is weighing on your heart and burdening your mind, be reminded that though you don’t understand the reason—there is a loving God that does, and He is walking by your side every step of the way. He will never leave you, and He never has." - Debra Fileta, Relevant Magazine

Nov. 23, 2015 - Giving Thanks

Giving Thanks

I am pretty sure that there has never been a Thanksgiving in my life, where I have truly felt SO thankful for every blessing. Here is my (abbreviated) list! smile emoticon

1. The unconditional love of God - the peace, joy, comfort and hope that He offers

2. Tony - he is the perfect husband for me!

3. My girls and their husbands - Mindy and Kelli are two of my very best friends, and I am so thankful that God blessed them with Michael and John, who love them so much!

4. Clara, Tucker, Lincoln, Bonnie and Graham - Each of you are very special to us. You are so unique, and you give us a new perspective on life. To Graham - I didn’t understand why chemo came into my life at almost the same time you did - but God has used you to bring so much joy and healing to my heart and I am so glad that we’ve had this year to get to know each other!

5. Our extended family - thank you for your prayers and love for us this past year!

6. Our friends who are like family - you have encouraged and prayed for us, laughed and cried with us, kept us company when we weren’t much fun, brought us food, cards, gifts and flowers, came all the way from Alaska to visit (thank you, Kris!), let us stay at your beach house (thank you, Lori!), cleaned our house (thank you, Susan!), wrapped our Christmas gifts (thank you, Kelli Bergstrom!), and been God’s hand extended to us.

7. Patrick & Treasa - thank you for your friendship, support and love, and for walking with us through the most difficult seasons in our lives!

8. The Life Fellowship staff/family - I am so honored to serve with you, and cannot wait to see what God has planned for us in 2016!

9. The community of friends who I have met and/or become closer to because of our shared cancer experiences. You are some of the bravest people that I know, and I am praying for you.

10. Our Life Fellowship West family - both the team that went with us to West and the new friends that God has blessed us with. It’s hard for me to believe that it’s been less than a year since Life Fellowship West opened! You have become such a big part of my heart in this short time, and I am so excited to see what God has ahead for West! 

11. An incredible medical team who has helped us through so much! And I’m especially thankful for my medical friends who have been able to give me the inside scoop / regular-word explanations for things when I haven’t been clear on things. 

12. Renewed health and energy. I missed you!! 

13. Hair.  smile emoticon

Happy Thanksgiving!

Nov. 19, 2015 - Not About Me!

I want to let you all know something - why I post about this journey with cancer. From the day I was diagnosed, I felt like God was giving me such comfort and peace and direction, and that He was saying "This isn't about just you, and it's not just about cancer. It's about trusting in Me." 

And that is why I share what is happening in my life with my Facebook friends. Not because I am so unique (statistics show that millions of people are diagnosed with cancer every year) or because I want sympathy - I am blessed beyond measure! But I am learning more every day about the value and importance of committing our day, whatever it looks like, to God, and about truly believing that HE will use our circumstances for His glory. It is the best lesson I have ever learned, and I am continuing to learn more every day!

I read this today and had to share it. Attitude + confidence in the goodness of God = unstoppable power!!  smile emoticon

"Words can never adequately convey the incredible impact of our attitude toward life. The longer I live the more convinced I become that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it.

I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there's no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me." Chuck Swindoll

Nov. 18, 2015 - Good Father

I had a regularly scheduled follow up appointment with my oncologist on Monday - the first time I had been there in six months. I have been having some pain in my ribs for a few weeks, and my doctor scheduled a bone scan, which will happen the first week in December. It's possible for breast cancer to metastasize to ribs, so I'm grateful for a proactive doctor who checks things out!

I am not stressing about it - and there is no reason to think the scan will be bad - but it is definitely on my mind. So as the holidays approach, we again have a choice to make - joy or fear. And we definitely choose joy!

This past year has taught me the importance of focusing on the blessings around me. We will enjoy having all our family together before Kelli and John head back to the Philippines in early 2016. We will reject wasting time dwelling on "what if's" - but continue to believe that nothing that happens in our lives is a surprise to God, and He orders our days.

I have listened to this song over and over this week - and I am SO thankful for our Good, Good Father!!

"I've heard a thousand stories of what they think you're like
But I've heard tender whispers of love in the dead of night
And you tell me that you're pleased
And that I'm never alone

You're a Good, Good Father
It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are
And I'm loved by you
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

You are perfect in all of your ways
Perfect in all of your ways
You are perfect in all of your ways to us

You're a Good, Good Father
It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are
And I'm loved by you
It's who I am, it's who I am, It's who I am"

Nov. 9, 2015 - Ordered Steps

The most amazing thing happened as I was flying back to Memphis yesterday. 

There had been no assigned seats on any of my flights until we got to the gate, and as I got on my last flight, I was (for the second time on the trip) assigned to a seat at the very back of the plane. I was thinking I might contact the airline to find out what the problem was.... Until I started talking to the person sitting next to me. Although we had never met, it turns out that she has been attending LF West, and we had a great time talking! We are now friends (fb says so!) and will definitely be talking more in the future. smile emoticon

What may seem like an aggravation, or an amazing coincidence, is nothing less than God, specifically ordering our steps for His purposes!!

Oct. 31, 2015 - Race for the Cure

What a difference a month makes! As I headed into October and the one-year mark of my cancer diagnosis, I felt discouraged. I had been having some health issues, was facing surgeries, and was generally tired of doctors. Even though my doctors are awesome! I also thought that I would prefer to skip all the pink October "reminders" everywhere about breast cancer. 

Fast forward to now. Surgeries are done. Energy level is so much better. We had a great time at the race, dressed head to toe in pink. It was more emotional than I had anticipated to pull on a "survivor" t-shirt and to see so many others wearing the same shirt. 

Cancer stinks. It has been a challenging year and I have plenty of scars to show from the battle, but with the help of God and an army of people around us, I AM most definitely a thankful survivor!  smile emoticonphoto.php

October 15, 2015

“Choose to view life through God's eyes. This will not be easy because it doesn't come naturally to us. We have to allow God to elevate our vantage point... Let Him do what you cannot. Ask Him to give you an eternal, divine perspective.” ― Charles R. Swindoll

One year ago tonight, I went to sleep, not having any idea of the tidal wave that was about to come over our lives. The day when my doctor said, "I wouldn't be surprised if this is cancer." 

The diagnosis was a surprise to us - but it wasn't a surprise to God. Never has there been a time when God has made Himself more real than in this past year. God has used each trial to show us another dimension of His love for us, and I am grateful for His hand of protection.

It's all about perspective - and from where I stand, this has been a very good year!

October 12, 2015 - A Paradox

After spending last week at home, and most of today at the doctor (scheduling dental implants for Oct. 19 and eye surgery for Oct. 26), this was "good medicine" for me!  smile emoticon

"Sometimes in your life you’re going to be so weak you can’t even pray, read the Bible, or go to a Bible study.... What do you do in those moments? You rest in the strength of the Lord, in his arms like a little child, and you trust.

Weakness can actually be a good thing in your life if it causes you to depend on God. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:8-10, “Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (NLT).

That’s the paradox of depending on God — the more you’re weak, the more you depend on God. And the more you depend on God, the stronger you get." - Rick Warren

October 9, 2015 - Growing Our Faith

"God NEVER stops building our faith. The day is coming when the things that scare you today will seem like no big deal." - Christine Caine

October 16th will mark one year since my doctor told me, "I wouldn't be surprised if this is cancer." 

I never felt fearful about having cancer - I knew from day one that God had our days planned and He was with us. I WAS fearful about what the journey would look like, who would get all the things done that I needed to do - and I couldn't comprehend dealing with chemo. Now - after four surgeries, chemo, hair loss, too many prescriptions and doctors appointments to count, with more surgeries on the calendar - I have such a different perspective. 

What stands out to me the most about this past year is how much my faith has grown. The things that I worried about and feared a year ago do not worry or frighten me now. I understand with such clarity how little control I have over my days - and how much God can be trusted to provide. I have seen God meet every need. Our family and friends have been His hands extended - sending a card, flowers, a meal, a word of encouragement; just what we needed, and just when we needed it. 

One year later - God has been with us and God is good!!

"But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the LORD’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the LORD is with you!” 2 Chronicles 20:17 (NLT)