The last couple of weeks have been busy and a little surreal. When we had our last oncology visit, we had a more-serious-than-normal discussion. I’ll have scans again when we go back in September, but given rising tumor markers and the previous scans, our oncologist believes that cancer has outsmarted the current treatment plan and it’s time to make a change. The words “infusion chemo” were mentioned. If I did have infusion chemo, the type may not be as strong, or have the same side effects, as I had in 2014 - hair loss, etc. But still there are lots of things to consider. My directions from the team were to get any medical/dental issues taken care of before I go back, if possible, so that’s what I’ve been doing. I was sad to hear that the current medicine is failing because even though I’ve had some infections while on it, I have felt good and we’ve had so much fun this year!
The detail above is provided for one reason: God is so very gracious in this crazy season!
Getting unexpected, or unwanted, news can be stressful! We all can relate to upsetting, not-expected news. And while I have had a couple of meltdowns since I’ve been home, something profound has taken over in the last week. A feeling of peace - a peace that passes understanding. I’m reading “I Give Up: The Secret Joy of a Surrendered Life” and I think I understand now why God drew me to it. The book focuses on giving up control (or more accurately, realizing- AGAIN!) - that we never WERE in control) of the situations we face, and choosing instead to trust in the One who controls every minute detail of our lives.
I am honestly having fun right now. I LOVE lifeGROUPS season; given the potential change in medicine (whether infusion or otherwise), it's time to hand off responsibilities to the leaders around me who can take care of the details that I can’t deal with right now. This is so awesome - so much better than trying to cope on my own! Thank you to my incredible lifeGROUP/re-engage/everyday friends for that.
This isn’t a season to google details about chemo meds, blood counts, etc. It’s a season to relish every minute - to enjoy laughing and talking with family, friends, my cat. 🙂 And the reason it’s possible to do that is found in these verses. They’re some of my very favorites - I post them over and over again - but I have never comprehended so completely, or trusted, these words more:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in EVERY situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the PEACE of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV)
I KNOW what it means to experience that peace of God, guarding my heart and mind, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. A peace that passes understanding. Making my requests known to Him with prayer and thanksgiving, and then resting - knowing that He knows the future and He can be trusted! 
No comments:
Post a Comment