A Little Bump in the Road

This is going to be a long one!!  It’s been awhile since I’ve written.  Life in this Grammy Lane has been very busy and actually, I wasn’t really sure how often I would be writing here - I read quite a few blogs, and don’t want to be one of those people who just write every day so they have lots of post!  But the last couple of weeks have been eventful, and I want to keep my pals updated on what’s going on - not only practically speaking, but from a spiritual perspective.

I wrote previously about my mom - she died of breast cancer when she was 62; it was first diagnosed when she was 48.  I remember when she was diagnosed - fear would be the best word to define my feelings at the time.  That gives me a family history of early onset breast cancer, so I have been followed by a high risk breast cancer protocol for the last several years - a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound in January, and an MRI in July.  I’ve had a few biopsies over the years, and they have always come back benign - fibroadenomas.  

Last week, I went in for a follow-up appointment to my January mammogram and ultrasound.  My very diligent doctor decided to re-check the results (which had basically said “all clear”), and did a fine needle aspiration of a “new lump”.  I’ve had those before - and usually what happens is, I get a call from a nurse, saying everything is good.  But yesterday, when I got a call with results, it was the doctor on the phone, saying the pathologist had just called him.  At that point, I’m thinking the pathologist didn’t call the doctor, and the doctor didn’t call me, to say it’s all looking fine - and I was right.  The doctor said I had atypical cells, the pathologist thought the lump should come out, and they wanted me to come into the office today to schedule surgery.  My sweet daughter went with me to the appointment (Tony, as well as several friends, offered to go with me, too, but I figured a party of two was plenty for today!) - and I am scheduled for outpatient surgery on Monday, Feb. 14th, to take the lump out and wait for the next pathology report.  We could have one of three results - that the initial pathology report was a “false positive”; that I do, indeed, have atypical cells (which the doctor said would lead to some discussions about future treatment); or it could be cancer.

I am a person who pretty much lives my life in the open - I don’t have a great poker face, and whether good or bad, people generally know what I’m thinking and how I’m feeling.  So while some people may keep this information private until they had a definitive answer, I instead am sharing my thoughts.  Why?  Because I feel that it’s really important to let people know that, in the middle of uncertainty, the overwhelming feeling in my spirit is not one of fear, but of peace - and it’s not a peace that the world gives.  As I come to this bump in the road, I have no doubt that God knows the plan for my life, that this bump was not a surprise to Him, and I have absolutely nothing to fear.  

So that’s where things stand - I will update after the next pathology report.  In the meantime, I welcome your prayers and hugs and sweet emails and texts!  Please pray especially for Kelli and her family - it’s not easy to deal with things, and sometimes they seem scarier, when you are far away, and my prayer is for Kelli to feel that incredible “peace that passes understanding.” I am thankful for the blessings of family and friends, and I am not afraid.  I’m not waiting in fear.  I am choosing to “fix my thoughts” on the things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  I am especially grateful for the promises that God gives us - and whatever you’re dealing with, whatever “bumps in the road” you’re facing, God sees you and loves you and knows where you are!  Here are a couple of my favorite verses - just wanted to share them with you:

2 Timothy 1:7 and 9 (NLT)

7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline... 9 For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-8 (NLT)

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Have a great week!