Life feels much more like it used to, on most days. Then there are days when it feels like I am just kidding myself and that life is NOT back to normal....
The days when I see someone at the store and they don't recognize me because of my [lack of] hair. That makes me sad.
The days when I am tired, or when my head hurts, and I wonder if there are cancer cells running around in my brain. That makes me nervous. And looking for answers by googling terms like "vascular invasion" and other words from my initial pathology report, or "headache after breast cancer" - NOT a good idea, as I read that it is most likely to metastasize to the bone, brain, liver or lungs. Then I start thinking, now that I read that info, I have also had pain in my leg and a cough that won't go away (additional symptoms of recurrence)...
At some point, we have to tell ourselves to stop thinking all these things! Our minds can take us in so many directions, many of which are not at all helpful or accurate!!
Life after cancer - or after any traumatic experience - can definitely feel like a roller coaster of emotions!! There is extreme thankfulness for each day; at the same time, if not kept in check, there are nagging doubts about what's next. It's enough to make any of us a little on edge!! smile emoticon
Isn't it amazing that the source of peace in the middle of the storm is still the source of peace when the water is calm, when the storm has passed, but when our minds are still racing? Nowhere else on this earth will we find perfect rest than in relying on God and His word. I am SO THANKFUL for the comfort and peace that only He can bring! smile emoticon
“Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke and put it on you, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit; and you will find rest. For the yoke I will give you is easy, and the load I will put on you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 GNB)
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