August 4, 2015 - Trust

You ever notice how Facebook asks "what's on your mind?" Well, thanks for asking, Facebook!! Here you go!!  smile emoticon

I woke up a few minutes ago with my eyes on my mind. The idea of an ongoing problem with my eyes has rattled me. I wasn't thrilled about having cancer but I adjusted to it. I had an easy time believing that God had the whole situation under control. Even finding out last Friday that I had to have another surgery wasn't earth-shattering. I can deal with that, no big deal! 

When I first had issues with my eye in March and eye surgery in April, it didn't occur to me that I could have ongoing eye problems. (As a side note - I have an incredible team of eye doctors; they are very proactive and have done an awesome job of taking care of my eyes). My biggest concern was sitting with my head down for awhile - which turned out okay!  smile emoticon

But the diagnosis this week is different. Harder. Not reversible, with the possibility of getting worse. I never thought about having chronic eye problems. I think I took good vision for granted. Having vision problems in my good eye is, honestly, frightening. After all, you only have two! This latest development has made me cry - quite a bit. And worry about the future. 

That's when He reminds me, over and over, through His word, through a song, through something I read, that He is sovereign and that He has a plan. Today when I left the doctor's office, I was very sad. The thought went through my mind, "If God's plan for you was to not be able to see, would you trust Him?" I can say that I would - but I would probably be asking Him a lot of questions. smile emoticon

So tonight when I woke up, this is what I read. I had actually posted it a year ago. It was written by a high school friend of mine who went through a really tough medical time a few years ago. It spoke to me, just like so many other similar writings have spoken to me in the past week:

"Rather than praying for soft or hard, easy or difficult, I believe that the better prayer is that we would experience God in whatever circumstances we find ourselves. I’m wondering today if I spend too much energy praying to God about my circumstances, and too little seeking to hear from Him in the midst of my circumstances... We get lulled to sleep by good times or in such a hurry to get out of hard times that we fail to look for Him at all times. I’m calling us—myself included—to give heed to hearing the voice of God in the midst of the storm or calm. We can always go back to our “God change this” petitions, but for a few days perhaps we’d be better to spend less time telling Him what He should do and more time asking Him what He is already doing." - John Stumbo

I am thankful for a God that understands through our confusion and who loves us no matter what. Who comforts us when we are sad and who loves us enough to walk us through what we need to help us grow!!

"The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” Mark 9:24 (NLT)