March 22, 2018

Truth versus Facts

I recently read an article dealing with responses to macular degeneration diagnoses. I don’t have “textbook” macular degeneration in my “shot” eye but the treatment and issues are very similar. 

I can relate to the feelings described in the article, and I’m pretty sure they apply to people with any chronic issues: physical, emotional, relational, financial, etc. And we know as Christians that God can heal all things! But in those situations when healing doesn’t come, I think it is good to be aware of how our minds process information. It was helpful for me to read. 

“To use macular degeneration as an example, when a person begins to experience the changes in central visual acuity... associated with the onset of macular degeneration, there follows an initial reaction of worry, concern, and perhaps anxiety which leads one to seek a medical evaluation, diagnosis and (the usually expected) correction. When the unexpected and devastating diagnosis of macular degeneration comes, one’s world is suddenly topsy turvy (unless the psychological defense of total denial sets in to avoid emotional pain and protect the familiar self-image and sense of security). Even the sympathetic and encouraging words of a caring physician who understands both the limitations and continuities of sight that you may experience now and in the future, can often not be heard and emotionally processed at the moment of diagnosis. Your perception of yourself, and vision of your future is thrown into total disarray; you despairingly imagine a life of darkness, social isolation, dependency, risky treatments, loss of friends, hobbies, participation in activities of interest such as sports, theater, art and reading – in short, a kind of early death.“ Arnold Wyse, MD

I thought it was so worthwhile - because we can find joy EVEN when we are processing difficult circumstances in our lives. It all comes down to choosing truth, not facts. We can simultaneously feel sadness due to loss (which is a fact) but we can know the blessed assurance (truth) that God is with us and will use our situation for good and for His glory. 

When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. Psalm‬ ‭94:18-19‬ ‭NIV‬‬

March 21, 2018

This has been an unusual week. Several people in our world have passed away, and we have been privileged to be at memorial services for two of them. While it is sad for families to say good-bye, the services have been celebrations of lives so well-lived, and puts into such clear perspective what really matters in life. 

It’s rare at a memorial to hear a huge focus on accomplishments (degrees earned, dollars on hand, property owned, records set, number of “wins”). There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of those things but by themselves, they are very hollow. 

Instead, lives well-lived reflect impact on others. Jesus demonstrated that in his life, and I was so fortunate to have a mother who illustrated that for me. When she was diagnosed with recurring and terminal cancer, she talked about the importance of making a difference in other people’s lives. I watched her do that during her life, and I continue to see the contrast in lives lived for self-interest versus lives lived to benefit others. 

A valuable legacy = love and forgiveness with some fun thrown in. 

March 17, 2018

“It’s always easy on the happy-ending side of a crisis to talk about fear as something I’ve overcome.... Sometimes I think “worry” is a temptation behind me. But I can only believe that in moments when courage isn’t required of me. It’s easy to feel brave when money is in the bank, health is in my bones, and loved ones are by my side. But when a fresh uncertainty or trial confronts me, fear is always waiting there, ready to strike again—eager to sink its teeth into my soul. Every time, I must pray fervently for the strength to fight it and to trust in God’s fatherly care. It’s no wonder “Fear not” is such a common refrain in the Bible; we give way to fear the way a feather gives way to wind.

....Every Christmas reminds us of how the Light came down and entered our darkness. And every Easter reminds us of how our God has broken the chains that enslaved us to sin and death. Stories all through Scripture repeat again and again: fear not.

The reason we must be told not to fear is because fear is the natural response to circumstances of great danger, suffering, or loss. It is in the very hours when fear is most natural that we are most called upon to walk by faith and not by sight.” - Hannah Grieser, Fear and the Goodness of God

March 16, 2018

“Who is more carefree than a small child? And yet who in the world is more helpless? I have never seen one of my toddlers pacing the playground and wringing his hands over where his next meal is going to come from. Young children are not burdened with a sense of self-sufficiency or a compulsion to pull themselves up by their bootie straps. They are free to play because they know somebody else is taking care of their needs... Our days are in God’s hands. Each one is His gift. 

Have you ever thought to thank God for the healthy production of a functional white blood cell? And another? And another? I hadn’t. I recommend that you thank Him now. Every cell is His handiwork. Every inflation of your lungs is like a re-creation of Adam—the stuff of earth receiving the breath of God. Again. Exhale. And again.

Our lives are in God’s hands, but it’s not always easy to live as though we believe it. We distrust the Author and try to wrest the pen from His fingers and into our own. If our lives are ultimately in our own hands, we must lie awake, willing lungs to fill, willing cells to divide, willing another day to come. If we alone control our destinies, then we can never rest, never turn our backs, never loosen our white-knuckle grip for a moment. 

But if all our moments are ultimately in our Father’s hands, then we are free, like a child, to keep our own hands open—both to give and to receive a thousand other joys.” - Hannah Grieser, Fear and the Goodness of God

March 15, 2018

Heaven gained a very good man this week. He went by so many names in our family. Bob, Robert, Papa, Grandpa Jacobsen. He had dated my mom in high school, and when they re-met at a high school reunion, a friendship was rekindled. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, he asked her to marry him in 1981 and moved her from Montana to Virginia, finally settling in North Carolina. 

They say you don’t marry the person, you marry the family, and he sure did! At some point, my sister and her family, and then Tony and Mindy and I (Kelli was on the way) stayed with them for extended periods of time. He had been alone for several years as his first wife had died, but he took all the activity and kids in stride!

He took care of Mom and treated her like a jewel, until she passed away 14 years after they were married; then he took her back “home” to South Dakota to be buried near her family. He ultimately moved back to South Dakota too, and married Claire a few years later. Claire and her husband had been friends of both Mom and Robert; she was not related to me at all but she would tell me sweet stories about my mom whenever I would see her. I will never forget her kindness. 

I’m thankful for Robert and for his impact on our lives. I’m praying for Claire as they say goodbye to a very good man. I know we will see him in heaven one day!

March 14, 2018

Some great verses to help us choose joy!!

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us…” Hebrews 12:1 NIV

“So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while.” 1 Peter‬ ‭1:6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name may be filled with joy.” Psalms‬ ‭5:11‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“The LORD your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.” Zephaniah‬ ‭3:17‬ ‭NASB‬‬

March 8, 2018

Sometimes God takes us through what appears to be a closing door, but in reality He is ushering us into a new season that we would never have understood or embraced without first experiencing the “ending.” 

I am pretty sure that 2018 could turn out to be one of my favorite years ever!! I am so thankful for the incredible people that God is bringing into our lives, and for the lessons that He is teaching me through them. 

God is doing some amazing things. And the really cool thing is, He could do them all without our “help” but He invites us along on this journey. 

I am so thankful!!

"Circumstances may appear to wreck our life and God's plans, but God is not helpless among the ruins."  - Eric Liddell

March 7, 2018

“Does our theology of spiritual growth and leadership development include allowing weakness to open up space for God’s power? Or do we assume that human strength and wholeness are key to effective, fruitful leadership? I don’t hear a lot of discussion about leadership in terms of feeling weak and being strong even though that’s the model God outlined for Paul. 

Paul put it this way: “When I am weak, then I am strong”. 

At one time, I assumed this sentence referred to a sequence of events: I would feel weak for a little while, and then I’d feel strong. I don’t think that way anymore. I believe that sentence describes concurrent realities. When and then are happening in the same moment: grace makes me strong in the very moment I am feeling weak.” - Alan Fadling

“Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:8-10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

March 3, 2018

A couple of things happen when we accept Jesus’ invitation to participate with Him in life. Obstacles that seem insurmountable aren’t. Impediments that we believe disqualify us don’t. When we show up to participate with Jesus in the big life, we’re participating with the very being who made life in the first place. He gently asks us how we are and invites us to get better together with Him.

Accepting the invitation to show up in life is about moving from the bleachers to the field. It’s moving from developing opinions to developing options. It’s about having things matter to us enough that we stop just thinking about those things and actually do something about them....

The one who has invited you is way more powerful than any of the impediments we think we’re facing, and He has just one message for us. He leans forward and whispers quietly to each of us, “There’s more room.” 

- Bob Goff, Love Does devo, You Version

March 1, 2018

I have been thinking about the changes in my life in the last year. If you had told me on March 1, 2017 that one year later, we would be a part of the Olive Branch campus, that I would continue to deal with vision and memory issues, that my staff responsibilities would have changed so much, I would have been very surprised, and probably would have felt some anxiety and worry. 

But it is amazing to see how things all work out. Just the way they are supposed to.

I am in awe as I see God working in our lives as well as in the lives of so many wonderful people that we get to “do life” with each day. 

I am so thankful that I’m not in charge of what’s next in life. I’m thankful that God sees the bigger picture and truly has plans for us that are greater than we can ask or think. 

We can find joy, even in the “waiting” room. He can be trusted.

February 28, 2018

Ways to prevent offense by studying the life of Jesus:

* Take the lowest seat
* Always remain grateful
* Give others their freedom
* Make decisions that promote life in others
* Trust God to bring justice when an offense comes
* Dedicate time to God

THRIVE study

February 26, 2018

“I know now that without shadows, joy can feel shallow. But, when we can discover joy while in the fight of our lives—no matter what that is—it is lasting.

Today, trust when it makes no sense?

Today, seek His presence when He feels so far away?

Today, fight back with joy?

Everyone who has faced a challenge, or who knows someone in the midst, needs to know that —

suffering doesn’t win.

Joy wins.” - Margaret Feinberg

February 22, 2018

“Humble people walk comfortably in every group. No one is either too beneath them or too above them for their own sense of well-being. They are who they are, people with as much to give as to get, and they know it. And because they're at ease with themselves, they can afford to be open with others... Having discovered who we are and having opened ourselves to life and having learned to be comfortable with it, we know that God is working in us. We know, most of all, that whatever happens we have nothing to fear.” Joan D. Chittister

February 20, 2018

“We need people who will reach out and hold our hands whenever we find ourselves walking in the dark. People who are quick to put our hearts at ease and swift to remind us how much we are loved. These are the friends who refresh us deep down when we need it most. These relationships are gifts worth seeking. Developing flourishing friendships takes time and intentionality, but these become the people who ground us and keep us going. They become peepholes through which we glimpse the kingdom of God, inspiration to become the best possible versions of ourselves even in the most difficult circumstances.” - Margaret Feinberg, Fight Back With Joy

THIS - is why I love being part of a Life Group!

February 14, 2018 - Tony :)

Happy Valentine’s Day to my favorite, Tony Boyd!!  ♥️♥️♥️

From the first week we met, your ability to find the fun in every situation drew me to you. The longer we are together, I have grown to love and appreciate that ability as an incredible gift. You have set the tone for our marriage and our family, and the girls and I are who we are because of you. I love you and I am so thankful for you!!

February 10, 2018 - A Crazy Week!

I wasn’t feeling good last Sunday at church and ended up leaving early. I rested on Monday and got a facial on Tuesday (thank you for the Christmas present, Tony!). That was awesome! And I was excited about the coming week. 

I woke up on Wednesday feeling “not myself”. Fast forward to later in the day. A fun lunch with a friend. A stop by the office to sign some paperwork and all of a sudden, I really wasn’t feeling well. A reluctant Kathy soon found herself in the passenger section of an ambulance on the way to the hospital. I came home that night and I’m having outpatient tests. And I’m definitely feeling more like myself. 🙂

A pause here to say that I am very thankful for our friends who jumped into action as things were happening, who stepped in and handled the details of the day for us, who prayed for us and checked in with us. We are very blessed. 🙂

All of that backstory to say this - when we find ourselves in a “waiting room” - whether literally or figuratively - it can be a scary and frustrating place. I went from a relaxing facial on Tuesday to a cold ambulance and loud MRI machine on Wednesday. And when we go from a place of peace and confidence to a place of surprise and uncertainty, we can start to question things: Did we do something to cause this? If we are afraid, does that demonstrate a lack of faith? Are we being punished?

Finding joy in the “waiting” room is not always easy. It can be exhausting. It takes some extra faith muscle, and we have to lean into what we know to be true - God. He is never unstable or uncertain. He is a solid rock. He loves us and has a plan for us. This isn’t a surprise to Him, and He will use it for good. 

I read the quote below early this morning and while it may not seem joyful at first glance - it is! Read it again and again and let those words sink in!

“He is the same God at the sunny apex of the mountain as He is in the foggy, mucky valley. His goodness is not shaken because our circumstances seem gray. Words like “never” or “impossible” hold no power over Him. He sees our wounds and our hopes and our fears and our needs. He reigns, still absolutely sovereign, as we sit in the waiting room of life.” - Jess Connell

We can trust Him. Even when we are waiting.

February 10, 2018

“He is the same God at the sunny apex of the mountain as He is in the foggy, mucky valley. His goodness is not shaken because our circumstances seem gray. Words like “never” or “impossible” hold no power over Him. He sees our wounds and our hopes and our fears and our needs. He reigns, still absolutely sovereign, as we sit in the waiting room of life.” - Jess Connell

“The only way to live a truly remarkable life is not to get everyone to notice you, but to leave noticeable marks of His love everywhere you go.” - Ann Voskamp

February 9, 2018

In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind. 2 Corinthians 6:4 (NLT)

“We work hard to build physical endurance. Waiting helps to build our emotional endurance. What happens while we are waiting is sometimes more important than what we are waiting for." Brandi Wilson

February 8, 2018

“He who does these things will never be shaken.” (Psalm 15:5)

“The Hebrew term rendered ‘shaken’ is a figure of speech describing great insecurity. Think of a pole used by two people to carry something heavy, wobbling and bobbing up and down with each step. That's the word picture of instability. Those who bring these areas under the control of the Holy Spirit will enjoy a sense of stability despite the shaky, chaotic world around them. They live stable, solid, dependable lives. They don't wonder if God is angry with them when bad things happen. They don't question the goodness of God or suspect His absence during sorrowful times. They aren't tossed about by the winds and waves of circumstance. Their thinking remains solidly anchored in God's Word, which they obey with consistency.” - Charles Swindoll

February 7, 2018

“It’s when we are most pressed that we have the clearest insight to what’s really important.” - Bryan Stevenson 

February 5, 2018

So good!!

“God is far more interested in changing your mind than changing your circumstances. We want God to take away all of our problems, pain, sorrow, suffering, sickness, and sadness. But God wants to work on you first, because transformation won’t happen in your life until you renew your mind, until your thoughts begin to change.

Why is it so important that you learn how to manage your mind? Let me give you three reasons.

1) Manage your mind, because your thoughts control your life.

2) Manage your mind, because the mind is the battleground for sin.

3) Manage your mind, because it’s the key to peace and happiness.

An unmanaged mind leads to tension; a managed mind leads to tranquility. An unmanaged mind leads to conflict; a managed mind leads to confidence. An unmanaged mind leads to stress. When you don’t try to control your mind and the way you direct your thoughts, you will have an enormous amount of stress in your life. But a managed mind leads to strength and security and serenity.” - Rick Warren 

“Letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace” (Romans 8:6 NLT).

February 4, 2018 - Adjusting My Perspective

I have struggled with perspective the last few months. Between cognitive and vision challenges which can make it difficult for me to recognize people (I’m sorry if I call you the wrong name!! 🙂 ), as well as chronic ear infections and other health issues, I sometimes feel that I’m not accomplishing what I need to accomplish. I’ve struggled with this since I was diagnosed with cancer - wanting to get back to “normal”. 

Last week, I had an eye doctor visit. Fluid under the retina in the “injection” eye has increased. Scar tissue in my “surgery” eye is causing reduced vision and my doctor would like to schedule another surgery; however, because the injection eye is unstable, he doesn’t think that’s wise. By the way - I am so thankful for my eye doctor!! He and his staff are amazing and top-notch. 

But once again, I find myself needing to adjust my focus - both literally and figuratively! 

What I am “seeing” in this season, and slowly learning, is that the issues of the day will be what they are, whether I like it or not. That I am not in control. That the “normal” that was life prior to the side effects of chemo is probably not going to return. 

And none of that is a surprise to God.  🙂 And it’s all okay. 

We can only hold our breath for so long, waiting for a return to the “known”. At some point, we have to understand and accept that circumstances are what they are, and we begin to adjust to that “new normal”. In time, we start to see all the ways that God is providing and all the things that He is teaching us. All the blessings that He is putting in our paths. We finally take a deep breath - and relax. And enjoy the view from the “new normal”. 

That is where I’ve been lately. We all have a choice - we can become angry and bitter at circumstances we face and are unable to change, or we can choose (and maybe choose over and over again) to lean into God, the one who loves us with a love that we can’t even comprehend. Who is worthy of our praise and our trust. And we can find joy - real joy - in the time of waiting. 🙂

I am so thankful for friends who walk with us and help us to see the big picture when our focus is skewed. And for a patient and loving God who is with us each step of the way. 

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah‬ ‭31:3‬ ‭NIV

February 3, 2018

“Weakness is not a symptom of a terminal disease. It is simply tangible proof of our humanity. Better still, it is the platform upon which God does some of His most magnificent work.” - Charles Swindoll

“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9‬ ‭NLT‬‬

February 1, 2018

January 31, 2018

As the years go by, I am amazed at how quickly I can go from being totally fired up and excited about what God is doing, to being discouraged and unsure of my next steps. I thought I would outgrow that at some point! And it can happen so quickly - no logical reason or explanation, but one encounter, one conversation can take us from flying high to a crash. Our feelings and emotions are not a reliable barometer of how to deal with life!!

And that’s why I don’t want to depend on myself. I want God to be at the center of my life, so I can go to Him when I am doubting, unsure or confused. It’s comforting to know that we are not alone in those up and down feelings. David, a “man after God’s own heart”, could go back and forth from writing psalms of despair to psalms of victory and rejoicing. And the disciples - the people who walked with Jesus - knew a lot about up and down emotions. 

People are constantly changing - but God is never changing. We are unstable - but God is the solid rock. We get tired and discouraged - but God is strong and sure. His mercies are new every morning, and He loves us in spite of our ups and downs. We have an anchor that we can hold onto, no matter what is happening around us and regardless of what we feel or see. 

I am thankful!

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."  Psalms 51:10

January 28, 2018

“There is a depth of God’s love that we get to experience only on a ‘need to know’ basis.”  - Unknown

January 28, 2018

"God is looking for people through whom He can do the impossible.  What a pity we plan to do only the things that we can do by ourselves."  A.W. Tozer 

January 24, 2018

“God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.” 1 Peter‬ ‭4:10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“To experience significance in life, you must serve with others in ministry. Ministry just means doing good to other people... The talents you were given are not for your benefit. God gave them to you for the benefit of the people around you. You are shaped for significance, and you find that significance by using your gifts and talents and abilities to serve other people.

You’re not meant to serve God by yourself. You’re meant to serve God on a team. You’re meant to serve God in a family, in a small group, in a church. You’re meant to serve God in relationship.

We’re better together!” - Rick Warren

January 21, 2018

1. You have a gift only you can give.
2. Someone has a need only you can meet.
3. Joy is the journey where the gift and the need collide.
4. Your journey to give your gift will break you … but it will also make you. - You Version devo

“Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap...” Luke‬ ‭6:38‬ ‭NLT‬‬

January 10, 2018

This is a great song. “Masterpiece” by Danny Gokey. I’m sure so many of us can relate. Going through situations or pain that we don’t understand or can’t see an end to. I am so thankful that God is, in fact, using each piece of our story to create Masterpieces of our lives! We can trust Him. 

Masterpiece - Danny Gokey

“Heartbreak's a bittersweet sound
Know it well
It's ringing in my ears
And I can't understand
Why I'm not fixed by now
Begged and I pleaded
Take this pain but I'm still bleeding

Heart trusts you for certain
Head says it's not working
I'm stuck here still hurting
But you tell me

You're making a masterpiece
You shaping the soul in me
You're moving where I can't see
And all I am is in your hands
You're taking me all apart
Like it was your plan from the start
To finish your work of art for all to see you're making a masterpiece”

January 10, 2018

This is a crazy week, medically. Nothing new - just everything at once. Oncologist on Monday, dental appointment on Tuesday, eye injection on Thursday, and in-office procedure at the plastic surgeon on Friday. Needles/incisions, etc., on four out of five days. That’s a lot of office sitting and waiting and recovering. 😀

I tolerate medical stuff pretty well. I don’t tolerate down time as well - I always feel like I’m missing out on my life! But without the down time - the time we need to let our bodies and minds rest - we will not heal. Instead of being frustrated, I am learning to be still and to listen for God’s voice. It is always there, offering comfort and guidance as I get away from the noise of life. 

I am so thankful for a season of rest in the middle of all the medical things, and that we are surrounded by an army of friends and family who are praying and cheering us on! Thankful for a God who is fighting my battles and covering me with His wings of protection. 

"But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the LORD’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the LORD is with you!” (‭2 Chronicles‬ ‭20‬:‭17‬ NLT)

Guest Post - 19 by Kelli Williford

Kathy Note:  Someday I'll figure out how to add the pictures that went with this amazing post!

See this girl? She’s 19 years old. She is so full of hope!

She loves this man, but she doesn’t yet know that the man she’s standing beside is the most amazing husband and father she could have dreamed of. She doesn’t realize yet that God knew EVERY weird quirk of hers, and He has given her a man who loves her in spite of, even because of, those quirks. She hasn’t figured that he really IS perfect for her, in every way.

She has no clue what motherhood will be like, but she’s already thinking about it. She doesn’t know that God will be blessing her with FOUR beautiful babies, and that there will be moments when they cry too much or make huge messes. (Maybe it’s better that she doesn’t know all of that yet!) She can’t begin to imagine what it’s really like to be a mom, the awesome responsibility and joy of caring for her kids. She’s not even aware of how they will change her life forever, how each child adds to their family something that no one knew was missing.

She loves her parents, but doesn’t understand yet how much they have sacrificed for her, how they have given her an immeasurable gift throughout her childhood. They taught her the Word of God, to be honest, to be kind to people. They were always there to listen and to give advice, and yes, to correct when she needed it. But she doesn’t yet see how wise and generous they are, how lucky she is to have been raised by them. She hasn’t seen how they’ve bravely walked through a battle with cancer, inspiring so many people with their joy.

She knows she has a fun, caring big sister. But she hasn’t yet discovered how strong her sister’s faith is. She hasn’t seen her sister quietly watch and pray while her newborn baby undergoes two open-heart surgeries and spends a week on ECMO. She doesn’t know that her sister has the courage to smile and live every day with grace, even when facing the challenge of raising a child with autism.

She doesn’t have ANY plans to visit the Philippines, much less live there, in a tiny house in the middle of nowhere! She has a heart for missions, but doesn’t see herself as a missionary, especially with a family to care for. She thinks missionary families are a little…“different”. 

She has heard rumors about the sex trafficking industry, but has no idea that it’s real, that it’s an epidemic, and that it’s happening to small children. She is naive about the cruelty of the world, how someone could ever treat a child in such a horrific way.

She believes in God and loves Jesus. But she doesn’t yet realize how faithful He is, how He truly is the Provider, the Healer, the Protector. She hasn’t yet placed ALL of her dreams, fears, and weaknesses into His hands.

January 7/8, 2018

January 7, 2015 - Three years ago today.  First day of chemo - it was a little scary but God was with us. Thankful for all the lessons learned on this journey. 

Praying for a clear report at West Clinic tomorrow and that I graduate to annual West Clinic visits!!

January 8, 2018 - All done at West Clinic! A good visit - some numbers were a little off but it’s more likely related to my continuing ear issues than anything else. Have to come back in six months - that is protocol until I pass the five-year mark. I can handle that!! 

Thank you for praying for us.  :)

Looking back....Little did we know that those "a little off" tumor markers were the beginning of not just a trend but a change - cancer had started to brew.

January 5, 2018 - Emmie Gaines wisdom

Best quote I’ve read all week!! I couldn’t agree more!! 😁

“Just be nice. To everyone. And unicorns if they are alive.” - Emmie Gaines (Chip and Joanna Gaines’ daughter)

January 5, 2018

Something has been on my mind and I wanted to share it. 

satan (using a small “s” because he is small) is crafty. The tools that he uses to discourage and dissuade people from a strong relationship with God, from leaning into each other, and from allowing God to truly use them for His (God’s) purposes are pretty smooth. 

satan tells us that our past is TOO bad for us to be loved by God or other people, or to be used by God. That if God or the people in our lives REALLY knew us, they would turn away from us. So we keep secrets. We can do that for awhile with people - but come on, keeping secrets from God? Guess what? That favorite phrase of mine that Tony shares with me - “This isn’t a surprise to God” - applies to this situation too. 

NOTHING we have done is a surprise to God. And WE may think we have disqualified ourselves - but have you ever checked out the Bible? I’m thinking Moses (murderer), Paul (murderer), David (adulterer, murderer), just to name a few. A whole bunch of people that we may have considered disqualified, but they are the very people that God used to further His Kingdom! 

Who puts a limit on our relationship with God, our growth in Him, and our ability to be used by Him? The person in the mirror.

It’s my prayer that none of us allows any of satan’s schemes to limit what God may have planned for us!

“But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.” Genesis 50:20 NKJV

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV

January 4, 2018

"When I feel sad and despairing, I remind myself that WHAT I KNOW is more important than HOW I FEEL. I call on the Scriptures that I have hidden in my heart. My emotions are totally unpredictable: changing without warning. But what I know is God is immutable— never changing-the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. In Him alone can I trust."  - Sue Sewell, "In the Shadow of Your Wings”

January 3, 2018

"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you."  Isaiah 26:3

I love this verse. It doesn’t say that we will be in perfect peace because everything is perfect. It doesn’t promise that we will never go through anything. 

What it does say is that if our minds are “stayed on him”, we will have peace. In the middle of whatever we are dealing with - and we are all dealing with something!!

It may be worry. It may be grief. It may be fear. Not knowing how something is going to turn out. But the promise is the same. Perfect peace as we focus on him. There is nothing more powerful!!

December 31, 2017

I can’t even comprehend that we are on the threshold of 2018!! There have been lots of surprises in 2017 - great and awesome things that I never expected, and health issues that have frustrated me. But I know this - no matter what we face, it is STILL not a surprise to God, and He can work all things for good! I am so thankful for each friendship - the old, the new and the renewed. I am learning more and more that worry and a controlling nature are overrated, and the very best thing we can do is to put our trust in God, and to choose joy. It makes every situation better.

“What we perceive as unanswered prayers are often the greatest answers. Our heavenly Father is far too wise and loves us far too much to give us everything we ask for. Someday we’ll thank God for the prayers He didn’t answer as much or more than the ones He did.” - Mark Batterson

December 19, 2017

“When I think about the wise men, I’m amazed at how willing they were to interrupt their lives and go on a quest to seek baby Jesus. Surely, they were important leaders in their tribes and nations with seemingly more important things to do than traipse all over the world following a star and looking for a baby. However, that’s exactly what they did. And some scholars think the wise men may have been traveling for months, maybe even years, to find the newborn King.

I wonder how often we miss out on God’s invitations to experience Jesus because we’re not willing to interrupt our daily lives and normal schedules. So often we’re too busy, especially during the holiday season, to realize the opportunities that cross our paths each day. Instead we think, “Nah, I don’t have time to invite the neighbors to our church’s Christmas services. They might want to go and then I’d have to go with them and be late for the office party. Which reminds me, I need to pick up a gift for my boss.”

But do you really want to miss out on being part of what God is doing in others’ lives?

God’s interruptions are often invitations to something more significant. Today don’t miss out on the blessing of participating in God’s plan because you’re too busy. Allow God’s Spirit to interrupt your plans and reveal the joy of giving.” - Craig Groeschel

December 18, 2017 - Looking Back

Some days are milestones - before and after days that mark a huge life change. Three years ago today I found out that I needed to have chemo. At the time, I thought it meant a delay in my schedule (a big deal when you like to control things!) and losing my hair. I didn’t realize how much it would change me long-term. There have been negatives - mostly ongoing physical issues (eyes, memory, fatigue). 

But there have been so many more blessings that I would never have experienced any other way. Today, I think about the people who paved the way for me with their amazing attitudes in dealing with hardship. Jerrel and Jackie, Mindy and Michael, Amanda and Timothy - your example of faith through fire impacted me so deeply! And our support team was and is absolutely amazing! More than I could ever name - but Cristina and Daniel, (sharing your chemo experience), Brook, Larry and Susan,  Ashley and Tim, Stephanie, Cherri, Pam,  Mary-Dare, Ashley, Laura, Treasa, Patrick, Stacy, Aimee, Rachel, Beth, Amanda, Nelda, Jim, Sarah, Darlah, Sarah and Nick, Kelli and Scott, and other family and friends - you were and are such a blessing to us. 

So thankful that Kelli and John were home in this time, that Graham was born to bring us Christmas joy (and he is such a happy boy), and for all the things that God showed us and continues to show us. For all the new friends, for every life group, lunch, fun adventure that has happened since then - I am grateful!!

Of all the earthy blessings - Tony is the biggest blessing in my life! I already knew how amazing he was, but ever since cancer, his wisdom, leadership and love have been overwhelming. I love you. 🙂

Three years later. Thankful to be able to celebrate and reflect!!

December 17, 2017 - No Crib For a Bed

“She wrapped Him snugly in cloth and laid Him in a feeding trough—because there was no room for them at the lodging place. ”—Luke 2:7 

“Just imagine what kind of majestic, glorious, beautiful, and infinitely comfortable crib the King of the universe should get! However, when the King of kings was born, He didn’t have a nice... crib with a Tempur-Pedic mattress. Instead, the Savior was placed in a feeding trough where livestock would eat. It was basically a big rectangular stone farm sink sitting on a pair of cinder blocks!

So, from the humblest of towns, in the humblest of places (basically a barn), to the humblest of women (read Luke 1:26–55), the Lord was born and placed in the humblest of “cribs.” As surprising and unexpected as this should sound, when you get to know Jesus, it’s not surprising at all. Why? Because our Savior embodies and exemplifies humility!

In Philippians 2:6–8, we read that Jesus, “existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His own advantage. Instead He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave, taking on the likeness of men. And when He had come as a man in His external form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death—even to death on a cross.”

[As you prepare for Christmas], remember what Christmas is all about. It’s not about the bells and whistles, the decorations, the lights, or the fancy presents in golden wrapping paper . . . it’s about rejoicing over the coming of our humble King, who came to save us from our hopelessness.” - Danny Saavedra