February 4, 2018 - Adjusting My Perspective

I have struggled with perspective the last few months. Between cognitive and vision challenges which can make it difficult for me to recognize people (I’m sorry if I call you the wrong name!! 🙂 ), as well as chronic ear infections and other health issues, I sometimes feel that I’m not accomplishing what I need to accomplish. I’ve struggled with this since I was diagnosed with cancer - wanting to get back to “normal”. 

Last week, I had an eye doctor visit. Fluid under the retina in the “injection” eye has increased. Scar tissue in my “surgery” eye is causing reduced vision and my doctor would like to schedule another surgery; however, because the injection eye is unstable, he doesn’t think that’s wise. By the way - I am so thankful for my eye doctor!! He and his staff are amazing and top-notch. 

But once again, I find myself needing to adjust my focus - both literally and figuratively! 

What I am “seeing” in this season, and slowly learning, is that the issues of the day will be what they are, whether I like it or not. That I am not in control. That the “normal” that was life prior to the side effects of chemo is probably not going to return. 

And none of that is a surprise to God.  🙂 And it’s all okay. 

We can only hold our breath for so long, waiting for a return to the “known”. At some point, we have to understand and accept that circumstances are what they are, and we begin to adjust to that “new normal”. In time, we start to see all the ways that God is providing and all the things that He is teaching us. All the blessings that He is putting in our paths. We finally take a deep breath - and relax. And enjoy the view from the “new normal”. 

That is where I’ve been lately. We all have a choice - we can become angry and bitter at circumstances we face and are unable to change, or we can choose (and maybe choose over and over again) to lean into God, the one who loves us with a love that we can’t even comprehend. Who is worthy of our praise and our trust. And we can find joy - real joy - in the time of waiting. 🙂

I am so thankful for friends who walk with us and help us to see the big picture when our focus is skewed. And for a patient and loving God who is with us each step of the way. 

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah‬ ‭31:3‬ ‭NIV