August 14, 2018

“People who understand that failure is an event and never a person are the ones who go on to do something great.” Fight Fear - You Version

Most of the time, I feel pretty positive and upbeat about what’s going on around us (finding out that my cancer has recurred and determining a treatment plan). I absolutely know that God has my days numbered, that this isn’t s surprise to Him, and that I can trust Him! 

But there are times when I have some very strong emotions. Like serious irritation at the metastatic breast cancer medicine commercials!!  🙂 They play happy music and show video of women doing amazing things while the voiceover talks about a horrible list of side effects that almost sound worse than the disease. And I have to fight feeling as if I somehow failed because cancer is back. Most people are in remission longer than me before a recurrence. And it’s hard to see those stupid cancer med commercials with grandmas making cookies and crocheting when you can’t get out of bed because your head and body hurt too much to do that. To feel like you’ve failed at doing cancer... well, it may sound crazy, but I have experienced that feeling. 🙂

That is only one of many things that I can feel I’ve failed at. But God doesn’t see it that way. I’m so glad that He isn’t angered by our behavior. He does have a plan - and He knows that life is difficult. When I start to feel discouraged about cancer, He brings to mind the times before we knew that my cancer was back. I heard God say, on multiple occasions, that the cancer journey wasn’t over, that it wasn’t a punishment; and that He knew I could be trusted to relay a message about choosing joy, no matter what life sends our way. He loves us that much - and when we are His children, He doesn’t spend time keeping track of all the times we fail. 

His grace is enough for whatever we face. He can be trusted. And I will continue to choose joy.  🙂

“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9-10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

When you've done everything you can do, that's when God will step in and do what you can't do.