Contrast (def): the state of being strikingly different from something else, typically something in juxtaposition or close association.
Apparently I have reached the point after chemo when you are very tired and also very emotional. It’s amazing how you can be so happy and so sad in the same brain, so up and down within a short period of time. How things can FEEL good and bad. There’s that “feelings” word again!
It looks like this:
Good news: All 5 of our grandchildren are in town and we can see them often!
Bad news: I am too tired to be any fun right now as a grandma.
Bad news: I am too tired to be any fun right now as a grandma.
Good news: Chemo should take care of any cancer cells hanging around my body!
Bad news: My hair may be gone in a week or so, and I don’t want Lincoln and Clara’s last sight of me when they go back to the Philippines to be a bald-headed grandma.
Bad news: My hair may be gone in a week or so, and I don’t want Lincoln and Clara’s last sight of me when they go back to the Philippines to be a bald-headed grandma.
Good news: My husband is with lots of the team right now, getting ready to open the new campus!
Bad news: I’m not there. And that’s where I want to be.
Bad news: I’m not there. And that’s where I want to be.
Everything is going to be fine - it’s just one of those days when if I had an option, I would not have chosen this journey. I need to rest. I am sad, but I'm not throwing up, and I am so thankful for that! But God knows where I am, and He’s okay if I’m happy and sad, because He made me and loves me. And I love Him, too, even if I am sort of hating cancer a lot at this point.
Thank you for your prayers for us! And I am feeling better now.
“O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it. Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me... Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” - Psalms 139:1-10, 23-24
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