May 30, 2018

“Don’t be anxious about anything; rather, bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and petitions, along with giving thanks. Then the peace of God that exceeds all understanding will keep your hearts and minds safe in Christ Jesus.” Philippians‬ ‭4:6-7‬ ‭CEB‬‬

“When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” Psalm‬ ‭94:18-19‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Yesterday, I went back to my eye doctor for a follow up from the laser work and the retina looked good. My vision is still really blurry but hopefully that will improve. 

So why do I feel worried?

I think that when we have been dealing with long-term or chronic situations (health, relationship, job issues), a “good” report can feel scary. Surreal. Inaccurate. Temporary. It seems good, but after so many ups and downs, we are hesitant to celebrate when good news comes our way. We are anxious. 

God knew that we would have these days, and he’s given us a perfect plan for handling it all - to give thanks and not be anxious. To react in a way that is contrary to what our natural mind is telling us. To choose the truth of God’s Word over the uncertainty of our situations. 

We really do have a choice every day - to choose joy or to choose fear. Today, I am choosing joy. :)

May 20, 2018

Thanks to everyone who has checked on us! My eye is definitely doing better. 🙂

Most of us like to know how a story ends. That’s how we want life to work: you have a problem, you find the solution and things are resolved. That’s how we’d like it to work - but it usually isn’t that way. 🙂

The story of my eyes has turned into a long journey of eye surgeries, laser procedures, and about 20 “intraocular injections” to date, with no end in sight. It’s tedious and a little scary, if I try to figure it out by myself. 

That is when I am reminded of how, in times of fear or discouragement, the truth of God’s Word (telling me that He knows the future and is in control) is so much more powerful and effective than any internet or WebMD facts I might possess. I only know what I can see - but God sees the big picture. 

I’m getting better with not knowing how it all turns out.  🙂 As long as we keep our focus on Him, He will give us the peace we need to deal with whatever the day may bring. I am so grateful for that peace!!

May 18, 2018

déjà vu!!

I was in this same place last Friday at this time. Last week I had one retinal tear. This week, I have two retinal tears. 😃 Getting ready for another more extensive laser procedure. 

I was so surprised because my vision has seemed better!! Oh well. At least it wasn’t detached!!

UPDATE: I'm done and home! I didn't tolerate it very well (translation: it hurt and I cried quite a bit!) but it's over! Time to recuperate. And I am so thankful for a great doctor and team.  :) Thank you for the prayers.

May 14, 2018

The last few months have been interesting! I have had some very literal ups and downs.  😁. Weird ear issues, memory and balance problems, falling, ongoing eye treatment. Sometimes I feel I am in a “whack-a-mole” game; one thing calms down and something else comes up. Nothing is life-threatening; it’s just unexpected and a little frustrating! 

Lots of us can relate to that. Our life is not looking the way we thought it would. We’d like to have happy, calm lives where no one is sick, no appliances break, no one loses their job, nothing frustrating happens, there is enough (time, money, energy). But that’s not the way life works - I am so glad that God is with us in these seasons!

After dealing with a torn retina this weekend and wondering how this eye stuff is ultimately going to work out, these verses were extremely comforting and helpful to me. Yes, we have problems in life - but God is bigger!!

“We are experiencing all kinds of trouble, but we aren’t crushed. We are confused, but we aren’t depressed. We are harassed, but we aren’t abandoned. We are knocked down, but we aren’t knocked out.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭4:8-9‬ ‭CEB‬‬

“He’s the one who comforts us in all our trouble so that we can comfort other people who are in every kind of trouble. We offer the same comfort that we ourselves received from God.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭1:4‬ ‭CEB‬‬

It is all about perspective! I can focus on the frustration or I can focus on the blessings. I am blessed with incredible friendships, an amazing church family, and work that I love. 

I am praying for friends today who truly are facing life and death issues. I’m praying for friends who are getting weary of the difficult situations that don’t seem to end. I’m praying for friends who are rejoicing in happy seasons of blessing. God knows where we all are. He loves us - so much more than we can comprehend!!

May 12, 2018

Tomorrow is a big day! It’s Mother’s Day - and it’s my boyfriend’s BIRTHDAY!! 

Happy Birthday, Tony! This past year has been so much fun!! I was looking back at all the adventures we’ve been able to enjoy, the new friends we’ve met, the changes that have come into our lives - it’s been a busy 12 months!!  🙂

What has stayed the same, and what I appreciate more each year, is how blessed I am to get to spend my life with you. Thank you for being a wonderful husband, father and grandfather, a warm and compassionate leader, and absolutely my favorite person. Thank you for loving me; I am excited to see what this year holds for us!! I love you!!  💙

May 11, 2018

Today was not the day that I planned - which is a good thing!!

About a week ago, I started seeing flashes of light and tiny black floaters in my “injection” eye. I called my eye doctor’s amazing lead tech (who I won’t tag to preserve her privacy - but she is awesome!); she told me to watch for changes and to call the office if anything changed. She said a retinal tear could be treated in the office, so coming in early if I had a problem could be the difference between a tear and a retinal detachment, which would require eye surgery. 

My eye stayed the same until Tuesday, when I had an injection. The eye doctor did a retinal exam and saw some changes but no huge problems. Between Tuesday and Friday, a tear developed in my retina. They did a laser procedure this afternoon and now I’m home resting. I didn’t plan that for the day - but so thankful for incredibly gifted people who help us know what to look for and when to come in! Eye Specialty Group, my doctor and his team are the best!! You know they are pretty amazing when you like the people who stick a needle in your eye every four weeks!!  🙂

May 10, 2018

It’s almost Mother’s Day! 

My mom is in heaven but she was the greatest! I am so thankful for the example that she set for me and for the privilege of being Mom to our two precious daughters. My mom was, and my girls are, teachers - of their own children as well as others - and I love them so much! 

Mindy and Kelli - Dad and I are so honored that God gave us the joy of being your parents. We are so proud of you and always here for you. 💕

May 9, 2018

"Now, I don't believe we should draw a line in the cultural sand and live in a sanitized little bubble. 

On the other hand, we can't just immerse ourselves in every aspect of the world around us and let culture determine our lifestyle habits indiscriminately. 

Most filmmakers aren't worrying about the impact of their movie on your soul. Most pop songs on iTunes don't care whether they build up your faith or draw you closer to God. It is our responsibility to discern what we let into our lives and what we keep out." - Craig Groeschel, "Soul Detox"

May 7, 2018

"Difficult situations are no excuse for failing to perform the duties God puts in front of us. With opportunity comes choice and we can choose to sit back or to grasp the opportunity we have been given and draw from our faith and make a difference." Dianna Benavides

May 5, 2018

“How can we be thankful for what we’ve been given if we are constantly comparing our lot with others? The Bible says to rejoice when others rejoice but if we choose to compare instead of to congratulate, we open a door for jealously and envy to enter. The Bible tells us in John 10:10 that we have an enemy who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. When we compare, our happiness is stolen as we minimize our blessings, our joy that comes from being genuinely happy for others is killed, and our relationships are slowly destroyed as praise and affection are withheld.

God has specific plans for each of us and we need to remember that everyone’s story is different. We are all made differently with unique skills, personalities, and traits that God can use for our good and His glory. He doesn’t compare us to anyone else and loves us so much that He died for us. If we insist on comparing, then let’s compare how our life, both now and for eternity, would be without Jesus. Then with sincere gratitude, thank Him for all He has done for us and ask for His help to not compare anymore.” - Move On, You Version Devo

“Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.” Galatians‬ ‭6:4-5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” Philippians‬ ‭2:1-4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

May 4, 2018

“When I gave up my right to be offended, in return, God gave me His peace as I trusted Him to be the defense of my life. 

The Bible clearly states that if you are a child of God, then He is your defender. We honor Him when we trust Him. I’m so thankful that Jesus modeled this for us. What if He hadn’t given up this “right” as He hung on the cross for our behalf? If anyone had the right to be offended it was Him. He was completely innocent but was treated as if He were the worst criminal in the world. He had the power to unleash His fury at any moment and vindicate Himself but in complete submission, He humbled Himself and trusted God the Father’s plan. He was obedient, even to death on a cross.” - Move On, You Version Devo

April 27, 2018

Below is a post from 3 years ago. I was on day 10 of 12 days of “face-down” time following eye surgery - and it was getting a little tedious. I was ready to move on! I was so glad that we were just about finished with all cancer/eye issues and I could get back to MY life, not this crazy one!!  🙂 Fast forward 3 years; life does not look at ALL like I thought it would by now. And that is a good thing in so many ways!! 

At times it is challenging, but I wouldn’t trade the lessons I have learned and continue to learn, the reliance on God and His plans, and the peace and JOY that He gives as I learn to give Him control and trust Him for the outcome. I am so blessed with incredible family and friends. God does have the perfect plan for our lives. 🙂

“I know the plans I have in mind for you, declares the LORD; they are plans for peace, not disaster, to give you a future filled with hope. When you call me and come and pray to me, I will listen to you.” Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11-12‬ ‭CEB‬‬

APRIL 27, 2015

This IS the Plan??

Tony Boyd and I were talking today about how it's sometimes good that we don't know what the future holds - that it would have been overwhelming if we had known ahead of time what these last six months would bring. 

As we were talking, I was thinking about what I would have been doing and working on, if all these medical things hadn't happened - if I hadn't had all this DOWN time.  🙂 As I was thinking, it was as if God was saying to me, "This IS my plan. There is nothing more important for you to do than what you've been doing." 

WHAT?? Even though I've talked about how this isn't a surprise to God, and that He would be glorified through this journey, I don't know that I have ever considered that this was God's PLAN for this part of my life. But when I look at it from that perspective - that this is what my purpose is right now, to give Him glory and to point people to Him during the unexpected detour, I felt a huge relief. He has allowed us time to get to know Him on a deeper level, and He has provided everything we have needed. 

It is all about perspective - and I will continue to CHOOSE JOY!!

April 26, 2018 - Great Day at the Eye Doctor!

I had a check-up today at the eye specialist and it was good! My doctor was very pleased and showed me scans from today and three weeks ago. Today’s scan showed that the fluid under my retina has decreased from 367 microns to 285 microns since the last injection - a change of 82 microns. 🙂 I don’t know what all that means but he said that is a significant decrease in fluid and it is absolutely a step in the right direction. He wants to keep doing injections every four weeks with the goal of drying up all the fluid - but there hasn’t been this much improvement before, so he was very encouraged. 🙂 Me too!!

Monday is a big day with several tests to sort out what’s causing balance issues. I am so encouraged to have a good news day!! Thanks to all our friends and family for your prayers for us. 

April 21, 2018

I am doing well - not driving, taking it easy and settling into this new season! And I love this devo!

“Here is the Bible’s description of who a Christian is: “We [are those who] have this treasure in jars of clay.” What treasure? The glorious gospel: the work of Jesus Christ to save sinners by grace through faith. And what is clay? A brittle, easily broken substance. And that’s what I am. That’s what you are.

God has a purpose in placing such a treasure in such a jar. We are unfit, breakable, disposable vessels, and God has decided to use our weaknesses to display his power and love. A jar of clay might be cracked in a few places, making it unusable in the world’s eyes, but God sees these deficiencies as a means to pour out and reveal more of himself.” - Hope When It Hurts, You Version

April 19, 2018

God’s timing is mind-blowing. In our THRIVE study last night, we talked about how God uses His Word to speak to us in different ways at different times. 

After planning on a week of no doctor appointments, I have had two, with more scheduled for testing to determine what’s up with my balance. Apparently this balance/falling down issue isn’t going to be a quick fix. And while they are sorting it out, I asked “If you were me, would you drive right now?” The reply was probably not. I already haven’t been driving at night but I “tried out” not driving yesterday - and it is hard to rely on other people!! I love my sweet friends who are willing to help but I do not like being dependent. I did not feel very joyful - and I just happened to be wearing my “Choose Joy” shirt as I was crying at the doctor’s office and at THRIVE. 😂😁😥😭😁

This was my devo this morning: 

“Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.” Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4:9-10‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

It continues on: “I was raised to be independent, and just like toddlers, I wanted to do things “by myself.” I was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago, and I determined to be the strong one. I didn’t want my family or friends to worry, so I did not show my fear. I let people know that I could handle the trips to get treatments on my own; I didn’t need anyone to go with me. But too soon, I started to crumble. I really thought I could handle this by myself. I was wrong. Yes, I prayed. Yes, I spoke the truth of God’s Word. But I needed something else. I needed the support of other people in order to find my brave.” Holly Wagner, Find Your Brave

I’ve read the verse so many times - but never thought about it in the literal context of falling. The devo goes on to talk about how we don’t need to be alone and the importance of relationship and community. Things I KNOW but apparently needed to be reminded of this week!!

God knows where we are and what we are dealing with. Even when we are mad or sad or discouraged. He is putting people in our lives to walk with, sometimes so we can bless them - and sometimes so they can be a blessing to us. 

Thank you, God, for the reminders in the difficult seasons!! 😁

April 18, 2018

God knows where we are and what we are dealing with. That is not a newsflash but sometimes we need a reminder!

My local friends know that the last few days have been long ones. I have been really dizzy and after falling for the second time in a few days (and not hurting anything but my elbow and pride), I have been frustrated. Between ear and eye problems, as well as a change in medicines due to blood pressure issues, I have been tired and sad and sick of all of this stuff. 

The thing that has comforted me has been scripture. In word, in song, in prayers and encouragement from Godly friends. Today I started working on my THRIVE homework and about jumped out of my chair as I read about “The Living Word.” These words were so timely: “If the Word of God doesn’t seem to work for you or you see things in the Word that just don’t seem to happen, remember that God is not looking for your understanding or even your cooperation; He’s looking for your obedience.” Then there was a question, asking when have I experienced the rhema (revealed) Word of God; I could say RIGHT NOW! And I looked back on the scriptures that have spoken truth to me in the last few days. I don’t know all the answers but I do know the one who does!! He loves each of us and calls each of us by name as his beloved children! We can rest in that assurance. 

By the way - thank you for all the prayers and texts and messages over the last few days. I am doing much better!!

“And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:19‬ ‭NLT‬‬

April 17, 2018

“Are you in the middle of a situation in which hope seems lost? Maybe you have lost your job. Or your husband had an affair. Or you can’t seem to kick that addiction. Or your child continues to struggle at school. Or you’ve heard the word cancer from your doctor. Or you wonder if the secret dream in your heart will ever come to pass. How is hope possible? The Old Testament prophet Jeremiah has an answer:

“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."”
‭‭Lamentations‬ ‭3:21-24‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is to keep hoping. Oftentimes, to keep a grip on hope will take both hands.... You are being made stronger with every wave, and this storm is not bigger than God inside you. His name is Immanuel—God with us. He is not just the God up in heaven watching aloofly as His people suffer. No. He is with me. He is with you. In every moment.” ‘ Holly Wagner, “Find Your Brave”

April 15, 2018

“He is the same God at the sunny apex of the mountain as He is in the foggy, mucky valley. His goodness is not shaken because our circumstances seem gray. Words like “never” or “impossible” hold no power over Him. He sees our wounds and our hopes and our fears and our needs. He reigns, still absolutely sovereign, as we sit in the waiting room of life.” - Jess Connell

“The minute I said, ‘I’m slipping, I’m falling,’ your love, GOD, took hold and held me fast. When I was upset and beside myself, you calmed me down and cheered me up.” Psalm‬ ‭94:16-19‬ ‭MSG‬‬

“But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” Psalms‬ ‭56:3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

April 14, 2018

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 NLT

Many people who think they have faith in God are actually dominated by fears and doubts—overwhelmed by the circumstances of their lives. Are you? What is it that makes you anxious today? Is there something you fear you’ll never achieve or receive? Understand genuine faith means realizing God wants to provide His very best for you and will not let you miss it as you walk with Him. True, sometimes what He perceives as best for you is different from what you do. But take heart, the One who created you ultimately knows what will truly satisfy your soul—even better than you do. - Charles Stanley

April 12, 2018

“On a trip to the High Sierra mountain range in California, something hit me: the pack animals that carried our gear had no way of freeing themselves from the burdens on their backs. Unable to reach their heavy loads, they depended on others to remove them.

This is also true of us when we bear the weight of our emotional baggage. We cannot lay it down on our own; nor does it disappear over time. Rather, true freedom is possible only through Jesus. Why? Because we cannot reachour burdens and often don’t understand how deep they go. But Jesus does. And He knows the perfect way to heal us completely.

Friend, no person lives free of all problems, hurdles, or pain. However, the Lord will not only protect you from lasting harm but can use difficulties to equip, prepare, and strengthen you for the next stage in your life.” - Dr. Charles Stanley 

“So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.” John‬ ‭8:36‬ ‭NLT‬‬

April 9, 2018

People often feel alone when they go to church - and that should not be the case. I am a big believer that church is not the place where I find and sit with the people I already know. It’s an opportunity to watch for the one who is new, who is struggling, who needs a friend. I have moved a lot in my life, and I still remember the people who were kind to me when I was the “new person” at church. We need to “pay forward” the kindness that others have shown us.

April 6, 2018

“Admitting we are not God—not in control, not running anything, not responsible for everyone’s well-being, not the solution for everything and everyone, not at the center of all things—doesn’t belittle us; it frees us.” Louie Giglio

April 4, 2018 - Post #2

I want to share this - and it may not make sense to some, but it has been a huge comfort to me. I just didn’t know how to put what I “FELT” into a definable phrase until recently. 

A friend said something to me yesterday and it caught my attention. She said, “Your attitude has made me not afraid of having cancer.” This friend didn’t know me when I had cancer; she was talking about my attitude through the aftereffects of chemo, which is an ever-growing list of maladies that were never a part of my life prior to cancer.  😁

I had expected to go through cancer/chemo and then resume my life. However, that has not been the case. Life today looks totally different than pre-cancer. But I can truly say, I am happier than I have ever been. Not because it’s always so much fun dealing with so many doctor appointments and some limitations to sight and hearing (a side note: I definitely have days when I just feel sad). But I have come to terms with the truth that although God could heal me in an instant, He isn’t doing that - right now. He is using this season for His purposes. And there is rest in that. 

Last week, i was listening to an interview with Lee Strobel; he is a journalist who has written several books including “The Case for Christ” where he goes methodically through “evidence” supporting the case he is making. He recently wrote a book called “The Case for Miracles” and in it, he talks about a prayer of relinquishment. It is a prayer saying “God, I know you are totally capable of changing the situation, but I relinquish worry and concern and control over the outcome”. Mr. Strobel cites several examples in the book of situations when God didn’t change circumstances. I honestly don’t recall them, but here are a couple from the Bible that come to mind:

- Jesus asked for the cup to be taken from him as he faced crucifixion but then he said “Not your will, but mine”. 

- Paul suffered throughout his life with a “thorn in his flesh”; he asked God to remove it, but he ultimately knew that God was using it for a greater purpose. 

In my case, I found that waiting for healing - for getting back to “normal” - was frustrating and distracting me from doing what I CAN do, during this season. There is a freedom in knowing that while I may not be able to do the things that I was doing a year ago, God has me right where He wants me for now. I had always worked full-time and honestly thought I would really miss my work (which I LOVED) when I went to a much more part-time schedule. But instead, God is showing me things that He has for me to do that I never had time to “see” in the past, and I absolutely LOVE getting up each day, ready for what is ahead. 

I don’t know what next year will look like - God could totally restore my vision and remove the other health issues that I am dealing with. BUT IF HE DOESN’T - God is still SO VERY GOOD. He absolutely has a plan for me. He has a plan for you.

April 4, 2018

What a great devo!!

"Today I will make a difference. I will begin by controlling my thoughts. A person is the product of his thoughts. I want to be happy and hopeful. Therefore, I will have thoughts that are happy and hopeful. I refuse to be victimized by my circumstances. Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark. Today I will make a difference.

I will be grateful for the twenty-four hours that are before me. Time is a precious commodity. I refuse to allow what little time I have to be contaminated by self-pity, anxiety, or boredom. I will face this day with the joy of a child and the courage of a giant. While it is here, I will use it for loving and giving. Today I will make a difference.

I will not let past failures haunt me. Even though my life is scarred with mistakes, I refuse to rummage through my trash heap of failures. I will admit them. I will correct them. I will press on. Victoriously. No failure is fatal. It’s okay to stumble. . . . I will get up. It’s okay to fail. . . . I will rise again. Today I will make a difference." - Max Lucado

“So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.” Ephesians 5:15-16 NLT

March 29, 2018

You ever have those “meant to be” moments when you hear something and you know it’s just for you? I was listening to a podcast this morning by Chrystal Evans Hurst and it was so good, I had to listen again. I love the reminders from God, just when we need to hear them!!

“We can choose the tone for WHEREVER we are. 

The way you choose to be WHO you are - regardless of WHERE you are - can impact the atmosphere for everyone around you.”