Life feels very calm right now. No doctor visits this week - no one poking, asking questions, running tests. It is awesome - so much more "normal." I looked back at the calendar and this is the first week since I was diagnosed that I don't have any medical appointments. Yay!!
Next week, back at it with a new chapter. Chemo. I found out yesterday what my meds will be. After consulting with my own personal "cancer board" (thankful for friends who have experience in this area, whether as a patient or a healthcare provider), the phrases I am holding onto sound like this:
"You'll do great."
"It's not the easiest chemo, but it's not the hardest either."
"You're in good hands."
The words I back away from? Scary stories about chemo and cancer and surgery. Even if they are factually accurate accounts. You know why? It does nothing to help us on this journey. But I haven't always looked at things from that perspective.
I am a pretty analytical person - looking at the facts and determining the outcome of situations. Being realistic. Worrying. Sometimes going to bed at night, literally worrying because I was afraid I was forgetting something important that I needed to worry about. (??? - did you follow that???) When you have that much on your mind, it's hard to be upbeat. Come on, it's not easy to be joyful when you have the weight of the world on your shoulders!! I'm sure some of you can relate. But we choose to take on that weight. God has never asked us to do that.
When our grandson, Tucker, was born, he had heart issues that kept him in the hospital for 5 weeks; while he was there, he had 2 open heart surgeries, numerous other procedures, and was on ECMO for several days. And if you don't know what ECMO is, you can google it - what it has to say is enough to make anyone worry!
I spent most of the first 5 weeks of his life in Dallas with T and his parents and when I came home, I was overwhelmed with worry. I told God that He was going to have to help me or I would need to go on some extremely strong tranquilizer to cope!! But when I came to that moment, God used the scariest, most painful time in our lives to show me how pointless it is to worry. How being "realistic" and knowing the "facts" is of very little value. These verses were life-changing for me:
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" Luke 12:25
"And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" Matthew 6:27
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30
So next week is chemo. And I have a choice to make. I can read everything I can about chemo and chemo meds and possible side effects and worry - or I can choose to believe that I will do great, that it's not the easiest chemo but it's not the hardest, either, that I am in good hands.
As we get ready for chemo next week, I am so thankful for the peace and rest that God makes available to us. Thank you for your prayers for us!
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Monday, December 29, 2014
Catching Up!
About four years ago, I started this blog. At the time, I thought I would keep up with adventures with life and especially grandkids - hence, the blog name. :) I didn't plan to blog regularly - I thought I would post on an "as needed" basis.
You're welcomed to read along! Can't wait to see how it all turns out! :)
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary,and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. - Isaiah 40:28-31
December 28, 2014 - "Roller Coaster" follow-up :)
I was just reading back through this post and all the feedback from friends. Thank you for your transparency and honesty, and for the prayers for me. I (obviously!) had a rough day last Monday, right in the middle of one of the happiest days of our lives - Baby Graham's birthday! It's incredible how we can have so many competing thoughts and emotions going through our minds at the same time. Feelings and emotions are wonderful and painful and unreliable.
But before I beat myself up too much about roller coaster feelings, I remember all of the people in the Bible that God used and loved, and they had some pretty up and down experiences. Moses led the children of Isreal out of Egypt, but he was an unwilling leader and at one point, asked if God might just want to kill him because he was so tired of listening to the people around him complaining. And David!! Just look at Psalms and you see some serious yo-yo emotions. Writing songs of praise one minute, asking God to put him out of his misery the next! But David isn't labeled by God as an emotional basket case; God called David a man after His own heart!
In some ways, I look back at my "roller coaster" post and think "Yikes! Possibly shared a little too much information there!" But the post ultimately wasn't about me - it is about how God is using this journey to teach me so much more about Him, about His heart. If I can share it with my friends, if we can all learn a little more about focusing on Him instead of listening to all the noise around us, and being overwhelmed by feelings and emotions and busy-ness all around us, this journey is not going to be wasted.
Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” The LORD is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. (Lamentations 3:21-25 NLT)
But before I beat myself up too much about roller coaster feelings, I remember all of the people in the Bible that God used and loved, and they had some pretty up and down experiences. Moses led the children of Isreal out of Egypt, but he was an unwilling leader and at one point, asked if God might just want to kill him because he was so tired of listening to the people around him complaining. And David!! Just look at Psalms and you see some serious yo-yo emotions. Writing songs of praise one minute, asking God to put him out of his misery the next! But David isn't labeled by God as an emotional basket case; God called David a man after His own heart!
In some ways, I look back at my "roller coaster" post and think "Yikes! Possibly shared a little too much information there!" But the post ultimately wasn't about me - it is about how God is using this journey to teach me so much more about Him, about His heart. If I can share it with my friends, if we can all learn a little more about focusing on Him instead of listening to all the noise around us, and being overwhelmed by feelings and emotions and busy-ness all around us, this journey is not going to be wasted.
Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” The LORD is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. (Lamentations 3:21-25 NLT)
December 24, 2014
I have been thinking about how easy it is to say that we trust and believe in God when things are smooth and good. We say that we trust Him and He is Lord, but in reality, we are often in the driver's seat, basically wanting God to ride "shotgun" and watch our back to protect us. When we hit a rough patch, we can feel (there's that word again) that God has somehow let us down, didn't keep up His end of the deal. That is so backwards - it's as if we view ourselves as being on equal footing with God and even though He made a mistake and took us down the wrong road, we will begrudgingly go along with it. We would never say that's what we are doing - but in all honesty, we can think it.
Instead of kicking and screaming and second-guessing the path that we are unexpectedly on, I woke up today wondering who else will be on this path. Who will we meet at the West Clinic. If I truly believe that God gives us divine appointments, I want to look ahead with expectancy, watching for those encounters that I would never have unless I was on THIS path. Believing that He is with us, He is aware, He is not surprised.
But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. (Isaiah 43:1-2 NIV)
Instead of kicking and screaming and second-guessing the path that we are unexpectedly on, I woke up today wondering who else will be on this path. Who will we meet at the West Clinic. If I truly believe that God gives us divine appointments, I want to look ahead with expectancy, watching for those encounters that I would never have unless I was on THIS path. Believing that He is with us, He is aware, He is not surprised.
But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. (Isaiah 43:1-2 NIV)
December 23, 2014 - Roller Coaster
Roller coaster.
I was going to say those are the perfect words to describe this week, but that would be inaccurate. Roller coaster - the perfect words to describe my FEELINGS this week. Big difference.
In fairness to my feelings, I warned them!! And I warned God! I clearly told Him that I can deal okay with cancer and surgery - but throw chemo into the mix, with the potential for puking and no hair, and I may not feel quite so happy. And the timing?? Right before the new baby and right before Christmas?
BTW - WHEN IS FACEBOOK GOING TO GIVE US THE ABILITY TO ADJUST FONT SIZE, ITALICiZE, TO BOLD WORDS, USE COLOR, ETC. I MEAN REALLY!!!!! AND MY PHONE IS AUTOCORRECTING THE WRONG WORDS! AND I ORDERED A WIG!! AND MY KITTENS ARE CRAZY AND WON'T STOP PUTTING THEIR TOYS IN THE TOILET!! WHO WANTED THOSE CATS ANYWAY?? AND I DON'T LIKE CHOCOLATE BUT I JUST ATE HALF A BOX OF A WHITMAN'S SAMPLER!!! AND I WISH I HAD LAFFY TAFFY AND SOME TOOTSIE ROLLS!!
That has been me today. A little up and down feelings. A little roller coasterish. Trying to absorb and be thankful for the miracle of Baby Graham (who is adorable and healthy and very sweet!!). To enjoy the blessing of having our family here. But at the same time, I am fretting... about how dirty my house is and how far behind I am on wrapping presents, among 1000 other things. My brain is very full... Overloaded. Oh yes, and while Wednesday is Christmas Eve, it has another name this year - two weeks until chemo starts. Nothing feels like it used to feel. And I think I have developed ADHD.
A brief note from my overloaded brain. I am NOT setting up a story, only to be able to give you a deep spiritual application. This is a real-world, real-time look at our life. Poor Tony!! Who is amazing and has not once said, "Please stop talking." He has been putting in some incredibly long hours at work, but he listens and holds my hand. And my girls are so good!! And I am thankful for so many wonderful friends. You have encouraged us and prayed for us - today when I was having a major meltdown, a couple of them "talked me down" via text - funny emoticons always help!! Thank you.
It ALL comes down to feelings!! As I said the other day, feelings are unreliable and cannot be trusted to guide our day. The ONLY place to put our trust?? In God and His word. He can be trusted. He is big enough to handle our feelings - even if it means we are a little ticked off at Him! He already knows what we feel, and wants us - me - to come to Him for help. He has given us a clear pattern for how to deal with feelings. Thank you to my sweet Mindy for sending me this verse tonight. I know it so well, but I needed the reminder, and I love how the Message expresses it:
Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. (Philippians 4:8-9 MSG)
Perfect guidance on navigating through an imperfect world. God is with us, even on the roller coaster. I am so very thankful!
I was going to say those are the perfect words to describe this week, but that would be inaccurate. Roller coaster - the perfect words to describe my FEELINGS this week. Big difference.
In fairness to my feelings, I warned them!! And I warned God! I clearly told Him that I can deal okay with cancer and surgery - but throw chemo into the mix, with the potential for puking and no hair, and I may not feel quite so happy. And the timing?? Right before the new baby and right before Christmas?
BTW - WHEN IS FACEBOOK GOING TO GIVE US THE ABILITY TO ADJUST FONT SIZE, ITALICiZE, TO BOLD WORDS, USE COLOR, ETC. I MEAN REALLY!!!!! AND MY PHONE IS AUTOCORRECTING THE WRONG WORDS! AND I ORDERED A WIG!! AND MY KITTENS ARE CRAZY AND WON'T STOP PUTTING THEIR TOYS IN THE TOILET!! WHO WANTED THOSE CATS ANYWAY?? AND I DON'T LIKE CHOCOLATE BUT I JUST ATE HALF A BOX OF A WHITMAN'S SAMPLER!!! AND I WISH I HAD LAFFY TAFFY AND SOME TOOTSIE ROLLS!!
That has been me today. A little up and down feelings. A little roller coasterish. Trying to absorb and be thankful for the miracle of Baby Graham (who is adorable and healthy and very sweet!!). To enjoy the blessing of having our family here. But at the same time, I am fretting... about how dirty my house is and how far behind I am on wrapping presents, among 1000 other things. My brain is very full... Overloaded. Oh yes, and while Wednesday is Christmas Eve, it has another name this year - two weeks until chemo starts. Nothing feels like it used to feel. And I think I have developed ADHD.
A brief note from my overloaded brain. I am NOT setting up a story, only to be able to give you a deep spiritual application. This is a real-world, real-time look at our life. Poor Tony!! Who is amazing and has not once said, "Please stop talking." He has been putting in some incredibly long hours at work, but he listens and holds my hand. And my girls are so good!! And I am thankful for so many wonderful friends. You have encouraged us and prayed for us - today when I was having a major meltdown, a couple of them "talked me down" via text - funny emoticons always help!! Thank you.
It ALL comes down to feelings!! As I said the other day, feelings are unreliable and cannot be trusted to guide our day. The ONLY place to put our trust?? In God and His word. He can be trusted. He is big enough to handle our feelings - even if it means we are a little ticked off at Him! He already knows what we feel, and wants us - me - to come to Him for help. He has given us a clear pattern for how to deal with feelings. Thank you to my sweet Mindy for sending me this verse tonight. I know it so well, but I needed the reminder, and I love how the Message expresses it:
Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. (Philippians 4:8-9 MSG)
Perfect guidance on navigating through an imperfect world. God is with us, even on the roller coaster. I am so very thankful!
December 20, 2014 - Feelings
Sooner or later, it is bound to happen. You get to that point. The point when you are just tired of being tired, ready for life to be normal, needing to get ready for Christmas but too worn out to clean, cook or wrap presents. When you find yourself shopping for a wig instead of those last-minute Christmas gifts. It's a rather dark place to be.
I feel like we have been climbing a mountain for the last 2 months; I thought we were getting close to the end, but when we got to the next level, instead of seeing the summit, there's a cliff that we need to navigate.
That is what today feels like. And I have no doubt that there are a lot of my friends who feel like Christmas isn't Christmas, for whatever reason. A broken relationship, a lost job, an illness, the loss of a loved one... If we only look at what is happening around us, we can feel pretty low.
But that's the key - "feelings" are not reliable, and we are selling ourselves short if we let our feelings dictate our day! God has given us the tools to deal with discouragement, pain, weakness. When we lean into Him, He will provide the peace, strength and encouragement that we need. When we reach out to Him, He is there! Here are some of my favorite verses:
"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13 NLT)
Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified or discouraged, for The Lord YOUR God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)
But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. (Psalms 56:3 NLT)
When we lean on God, He is there to walk with us through the test.
Thanks so much to a sweet friend who sent the quote below to me this morning; God used you to bless me today.
No matter what, God says He will
- still be the cornerstone of my life
- protect me
- lift my head high
- restore my joy
- give me peace that passes understanding
- put me back together
- open my eyes to new opportunities
- lead me to triumph
- make me wiser and stronger as a result of this trial
- catch me
- help me in my time of need
- hear my cry
- breath life into me
- cover me
- draw close to me
- send His angels to comfort me.
You are loved.
Merry Christmas!
I feel like we have been climbing a mountain for the last 2 months; I thought we were getting close to the end, but when we got to the next level, instead of seeing the summit, there's a cliff that we need to navigate.
That is what today feels like. And I have no doubt that there are a lot of my friends who feel like Christmas isn't Christmas, for whatever reason. A broken relationship, a lost job, an illness, the loss of a loved one... If we only look at what is happening around us, we can feel pretty low.
But that's the key - "feelings" are not reliable, and we are selling ourselves short if we let our feelings dictate our day! God has given us the tools to deal with discouragement, pain, weakness. When we lean into Him, He will provide the peace, strength and encouragement that we need. When we reach out to Him, He is there! Here are some of my favorite verses:
"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13 NLT)
Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified or discouraged, for The Lord YOUR God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)
But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. (Psalms 56:3 NLT)
When we lean on God, He is there to walk with us through the test.
Thanks so much to a sweet friend who sent the quote below to me this morning; God used you to bless me today.
No matter what, God says He will
- still be the cornerstone of my life
- protect me
- lift my head high
- restore my joy
- give me peace that passes understanding
- put me back together
- open my eyes to new opportunities
- lead me to triumph
- make me wiser and stronger as a result of this trial
- catch me
- help me in my time of need
- hear my cry
- breath life into me
- cover me
- draw close to me
- send His angels to comfort me.
You are loved.
Merry Christmas!
December 18, 2014 - Not What I Had Planned
I went back today for the follow up visit with the oncologist. When we saw him before, it was looking pretty unlikely that I would need chemo, but they wanted to do more testing. Today, I thought that I would be in and out, taking my prescription with me for a follow-up daily pill, and basically be finished! You may be able to tell where this is going....
I will be starting chemo on January 7th; I'll have four treatments, three weeks apart. My doctor gave me that news as kindly as possible. Then he said, "And I'm sorry, but your hair will fall out."
I am honestly not worried about the treatment; I have handled a lot of medical issues in the past several years, and I will be okay. It's the losing my hair that made me cry. And the fact that I am having chemo two weeks after my grand baby is born... that made me cry. And the fact that I am having chemo four days before our new campus, Life Fellowship West, opens... that made me cry.
After a brief pity party with my sweet daughters and husband, and encouragement from some amazing friends, I am back on track. We thought we were almost finished with the journey, but that's not the case and we need to regroup. I find the best way to do that is to go back to the beginning, remembering what God told me before, and continuing to hold onto and believe that. I will never forget how God ministered to me through a devotional the first day of this journey, early on Thursday, Oct. 16; they were the words that I would need to cling to later that day, and they're what I believe and cling to now:
"When we look continually in faith to Jesus, not at our circumstances, we will find a tranquility within, no matter what is happening around us."
You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. (Isaiah 26:3 NKJV)
God isn't surprised by this, we WILL glorify Him in this journey (even if I don't have hair!), we are so blessed to have both our girls and their families so close by, and God has the most incredible plan for Life Fellowship West - which isn't dependent on if I can be as involved in its launch as I had hoped and planned. He is big enough to handle the future, and we are trusting Him!
December 14, 2014 - Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
It's been so great to be out more this week, getting to catch up with people!
I am feeling better all the time, but as one of my doctors told me, the journey is not always forward; there are a few steps back. After a great week, I am absolutely worn out and everything seems to take more energy than I have at the moment. Nothing is wrong - I just need to rest a little, and that is ok!
This week will be big - we go back to the oncologist on Thursday afternoon and will find out whether I need to do chemo, and if no chemo, what the long-term med plan will be. I also have two other doctor appointments, on Monday and Wednesday. Please pray for good results, and for patience with all the doctor stuff - there are many things I would rather be doing than sitting at doctors' offices this week!
So thankful for God's steadfast love, especially on the days when I think I should be back to normal, and when I am tired of the journey. Thank you for your prayers for us!
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the LORD and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones. (Proverbs 3:5-8 NLT)
You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. (Isaiah 26:3 NKJV)
You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. (Isaiah 26:3 NKJV)
December 1, 2014 - A Good Report!
Tony and I went to see Dr. Schwartzberg at the West Clinic today. They are doing more tests, including the Oncotype, to decide if I will need chemo. We will find out the plan on Dec 18th. Dr. Schwartzberg says I will definitely be on a pill (but not necessarily tamoxifen) for five years, but he feels like there is less than a 50% chance that I will need chemo. That sounds incredible!
We also talked about recovery from my surgery - I have been on a bit of a roller coaster of feeling good and then not feeling good the past several days. He said it takes at least a month to recover from this surgery - that I will have some good days and some bad, but the farther out I get, the good days will keep gaining on the bad. He said to remember that I am healing, making progress, and that makes sense! Tomorrow I go back to the plastic surgeon, the goal is that I will have my final reconstruction surgery in 3-4 months.
Thank you so much to everyone for your prayers and encouragement. We are very blessed. And we also found out today that we will meet Baby Graham, Kelli and John's new baby, on Dec. 22. I can't think of a better Christmas gift!
"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." (James 1:2-4 NLT)
"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." (James 1:2-4 NLT)
November 28, 2014 - Choosing Truth, Not Feelings
Today has been a hard day. After doing pretty well for several weeks, today I am tired of this path and I would prefer to have my regular life back. Nothing bad has happened today, but I can tend to have high expectations. I had allowed myself two weeks of "sick time" following surgery, and then wanted to be back on track. And I'm not back to normal.
I am tired, I am not sure what the next few months look like, and I don't feel so hot. I want to be thinking about our new grandbaby and the launch of our new campus and holiday festivities with family and friends. Instead, I'm thinking about what happens at the appointment with the oncologist on Monday, wondering how long it will be until the next surgery, concerned about what life will be like when I'm taking tamoxifen or whatever meds they have me take on a long-term basis.
But the truth is, I have so much to be thankful for - including good results from surgery. I am thankful for our family and friends - for wonderful daughters and the most incredible husband who takes care of me and tells me that I'm doing great and that I look pretty, even though I haven't washed my hair and have no make up on.
I guess days like this are to be expected. And even when my feelings aren't where they should be, I am determined that tomorrow will be better. I am going to choose the truth - all of the promises and comfort that God has for us in this time. I just found the most incredible devotion on a blog called "Devotions for Cancer Survivors." It applies to me, but it also applies to any of us who are in a place of weakness. I needed to read this tonight and I hope that it encourages someone else!
“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8
"God, in His infinite wisdom, does not usually give us detailed descriptions of how He is planning to carry out His perfect plan for our lives. Instead, He asks us to trust that He knows what He is doing. He created us, He loves us, and He promises to protect and provide for us every moment of every day. He will give us all the information that we need when we need it, not a moment too soon nor a moment too late. He will give us all the grace we need to endure our trials when we need it, not a moment too soon nor a moment too late. His timing is always perfect. His plan is always for our good. The future is God’s job, not ours. All He asks is that we trust Him, rest in Him, allow Him to comfort us, believe in His promises, and wait for Him. It sounds so easy, but even those simple tasks are impossible for me without His grace."
I know that tomorrow will be better!
November 25, 2014
I get to go to work for awhile tomorrow! Two doctor appointments next week, and I definitely will be taking it easy - but getting to be out of the house for a bit is a huge step towards "normal." Thankful for so many things this Thanksgiving!! Can't wait to see our Life Fellowship friends this weekend!
November 20, 2014 - The Good News Keeps Coming!
Today, I went back to see Dr. Berry and go over the results from the pathology report. It doesn't appear that the cancer was anywhere other than the main tumor which started this whole adventure! :) That is awesome news! I also do not have to have any radiation, which is a huge answer to prayer. Dr. Berry is referring me to a medical oncologist, to do some additional testing and decide if it would be wise to go ahead with chemo, due to the size and aggressive nature of the tumor that I had. My appointment with him is scheduled for December 1st.
It's hard to believe it's only been a week and a day since I had major surgery! I'm not going to be getting out much for a few more days. Both doctors who did my surgery think recovery is going very well, but the general consensus is that I need to take it easy until Thanksgiving. I am going to do my best to follow that advice!
We are so thankful for all our friends and family who have surrounded us with prayer, and who have encouraged us every day. God has used you to bless us and to be at the right place at the right time on this journey!
It's hard to believe it's only been a week and a day since I had major surgery! I'm not going to be getting out much for a few more days. Both doctors who did my surgery think recovery is going very well, but the general consensus is that I need to take it easy until Thanksgiving. I am going to do my best to follow that advice!
We are so thankful for all our friends and family who have surrounded us with prayer, and who have encouraged us every day. God has used you to bless us and to be at the right place at the right time on this journey!
November 17, 2014 - Great Report!
I got a call from my doctor's office a little while ago; it was his wonderful nurse who called instead of him, which made me feel at ease immediately! He is generally the one who calls to deliver not-so-good news.
They got the final pathology report back from my surgery, and my lymph nodes are officially clear! That is such good news. I asked her if that means tamoxifen and no chemo. She said that we will be looking at several factors and I'll be going to a medical oncologist before making a final decision. She also said the tumor was about the size they had anticipated. So all in all, a great conversation and great news.
I'm making a pretty quick recovery, and thankful for so many things:
We can feel the prayers. We are blessed!
- Very thankful for Tony, Mindy and Kelli, who are really watching out for me!
- Thankful for doctors who gave us their cell phone number so we could communicate details on weekends!
- Thankful for John's mom, Linda Williford, who came to town to stay with Kelli and John's kids so Kelli can help me.
- Thankful for all the people that God has put on this path to help us - Jennifer Jones, thank you for the Chloraseptic and jello - they were exactly what I needed! :)
- Thankful for all our family and friends who have offered to bring meals, run errands, and take care of things - we are well-covered in all those areas!
- Thankful for all the people praying for us.
- Thankful for the healing that God is bringing, and for His constant peace and reassurance.
We can feel the prayers. We are blessed!
November 14, 2014 - Home Sweet Home
Just wanted to let you know that I got out of the hospital a few hours ago and we are all settled in at home!
Thank you so much for all the prayers and encouragement. Surgery went so well! Tony, Mindy and Kelli have been awesome and we have done a lot of laughing together this week. Also, thanks to John and Michael for keeping things stable at home while your wives have been with us!
On Thursday afternoon, we will be meeting with Dr Berry. He will have the complete pathology report so they can "stage" the tumor I had, and look at any other treatments I may need. The initial pathology reports from the day of surgery were clear (no cancer in my lymph nodes). Thursday will be a big day for us, but we have no doubt that God is right beside us!
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV)
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV)
November 12, 2014 - Surgery Day
It's Go Time! - 2:05pm
They took mom back to begin her double mastectomy around 1:45. She had some versed right before they wheeled her out of the room, and was very relaxed at that point :)
Dr. Berry said the entire procedure will take about 4 hours. We will be able to see her about an hour after that.
Join us in praying that the surgery goes smoothly and that no cancer is in her lymph nodes.
Thank you so much for all the love and support and joy you've shared today. We are beyond grateful!
We'll keep the updates coming as we get info.
Mindy
Initial Report - 4:13pm
They just called the waiting room to let us know that the first half of the surgery is done. She is doing great so far.
At this point, there is no indication that the cancer has spread. More tests are necessary, but that is a wonderful initial report!
We will get the detailed pathology report and know more about the future treatment plans in the coming weeks.
The second part of the surgery is happening now, which will take about 2.5hrs.
We'll keep you posted!
"God is our refuge and strength, a VERY present help in trouble."
Psalm 46:1
Surgery is Over - 6:21pm
We just met with Dr Chandler, the plastic surgeon. Mom did wonderfully and is in recovery. We'll be able to see her in about an hour.
If you haven't had a chance yet, check out mom's Facebook page! It is a perfect example of being a light everywhere you go and in every situation. We could not be more proud of her.
We'll update again tomorrow!
They just called the waiting room to let us know that the first half of the surgery is done. She is doing great so far.
November 10, 2014
I've always loved Proverbs 3:5-6. Never really focused on verse 8 until this weekend. How awesome is this!!
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the LORD and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones. (Proverbs 3:5-8 NLT)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the LORD and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones. (Proverbs 3:5-8 NLT)
November 8, 2014 - Preparing for Battle
Today has been a wonderful day. I saw lots of friends, will be seeing more friends tonight, and I am getting a kitten!! Very excited about that. :)
We have fun things planned between now and Wednesday when I have surgery. It's like I can plan until then - and we have no idea what life looks like on the other side of Wednesday. I know it will be different than what it is today - best case is that I am recovering from major surgery and on tamoxifen for several years. I don't know what other scenarios look like and I am doing my best not to speculate.
The Bible has given us such comfort on this journey, and that's where we are looking for guidance and direction. When I checked out the website for our plastic surgeon for the first time, he had Proverbs 3:5-6 on his page. That was a huge comfort and encouragement to me, and so many times in the past few weeks, our friends have shared the verses with us. So even though I don't know what things look like past Wednesday, I wanted you to know our battle plan:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT)
Thank you for your prayers and posts and encouragement! Mindy or Kelli or Tony will be updating while we are at the hospital.
Thank you for your prayers and posts and encouragement! Mindy or Kelli or Tony will be updating while we are at the hospital.
November 7, 2014 - Thank you for your prayers!
I was diagnosed with breast cancer on October 16, 2014. It started out as a normal day - I felt great but was going for a check up, like I have done for the last 7 years. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in her 40's and so my doctor had me on a high risk protocol that included regular mammograms, ultrasounds, MRI's and biopsies as needed. This visit seemed the same.
At 3am that morning, I woke up feeling worried about a big event happening at our church. I picked up my phone, looking for verses dealing with feeling overwhelmed. This is what I read:
"When we look continually in faith to Jesus, not at our circumstances, we will find a tranquility within, no matter what is happening around us."
You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. (Isaiah 26:3 NKJV)
How perfect! I posted it to my Facebook page and went back to sleep.
Fast forward to 9am. Sitting at the doctor's office, I received a text from my friend, Ashley:
"Good morning Kathy. I just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you. You are covered by God's righteous right hand. I'm praying that you be refreshed and renewed emotionally physically mentally. That the Holy Spirit would breath life and energy into you like nothing on this earth can."
I thought that was so nice - Ashley and I text often but she doesn't text me things like that every day. I told her thanks and waited for the doctor.
Two hours later, my doctor (who is not a worst-case scenario person) told me, "we need to do a biopsy today, and I would not be surprised if this is cancer." Time stood still - I felt sad and calm and peaceful, all at the same time. Immediately I remembered what I had read at 3am, and what Ashley had sent me at 9am, and I KNEW that God was preparing me. The God of the universe, who had created all things, knew where I was and what was happening, and wanted me to know that He was with me. The next day, the diagnoses was confirmed and the journey began.
On October 23, Tony and I met with the doctor and found out that I had infiltrating ductal carcinoma, and it was a high grade, aggressive tumor. After some consultations and testing over the next few days, and prayer and conversations with my family, we decided to go ahead with surgery. I will have a double mastectomy with reconstruction on November 12th. The surgery will determine whether there is lymph node involvement, the cancer stage, and from there we will begin to formulate the treatment plan.
That is the clinical side. I wanted to create a caring bridge site to keep everyone up to date with us from a medical perspective.
More importantly, my hope is that as our friends and family stop by the site, that you will be encouraged by the real story - how God is going to use this for His Glory. Over and over, He is showing His power as He gives us a verse to meditate on, a song to sing, an encouraging word or prayer from a friend, or a devotional that keeps us focused on the fact that He is with us and we are not alone. I want to share with you the things that He is doing in and through us, and we want you to know how much we appreciate each prayer and kind word.
Please be praying for Tony, Mindy and Kelli, and for our extended family and our amazing friends as we take this journey!
At 3am that morning, I woke up feeling worried about a big event happening at our church. I picked up my phone, looking for verses dealing with feeling overwhelmed. This is what I read:
"When we look continually in faith to Jesus, not at our circumstances, we will find a tranquility within, no matter what is happening around us."
You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. (Isaiah 26:3 NKJV)
How perfect! I posted it to my Facebook page and went back to sleep.
Fast forward to 9am. Sitting at the doctor's office, I received a text from my friend, Ashley:
"Good morning Kathy. I just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you. You are covered by God's righteous right hand. I'm praying that you be refreshed and renewed emotionally physically mentally. That the Holy Spirit would breath life and energy into you like nothing on this earth can."
I thought that was so nice - Ashley and I text often but she doesn't text me things like that every day. I told her thanks and waited for the doctor.
Two hours later, my doctor (who is not a worst-case scenario person) told me, "we need to do a biopsy today, and I would not be surprised if this is cancer." Time stood still - I felt sad and calm and peaceful, all at the same time. Immediately I remembered what I had read at 3am, and what Ashley had sent me at 9am, and I KNEW that God was preparing me. The God of the universe, who had created all things, knew where I was and what was happening, and wanted me to know that He was with me. The next day, the diagnoses was confirmed and the journey began.
On October 23, Tony and I met with the doctor and found out that I had infiltrating ductal carcinoma, and it was a high grade, aggressive tumor. After some consultations and testing over the next few days, and prayer and conversations with my family, we decided to go ahead with surgery. I will have a double mastectomy with reconstruction on November 12th. The surgery will determine whether there is lymph node involvement, the cancer stage, and from there we will begin to formulate the treatment plan.
That is the clinical side. I wanted to create a caring bridge site to keep everyone up to date with us from a medical perspective.
More importantly, my hope is that as our friends and family stop by the site, that you will be encouraged by the real story - how God is going to use this for His Glory. Over and over, He is showing His power as He gives us a verse to meditate on, a song to sing, an encouraging word or prayer from a friend, or a devotional that keeps us focused on the fact that He is with us and we are not alone. I want to share with you the things that He is doing in and through us, and we want you to know how much we appreciate each prayer and kind word.
Please be praying for Tony, Mindy and Kelli, and for our extended family and our amazing friends as we take this journey!
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
October 17, 2014 - A Cancer Diagnosis
|
|
Just wanted to let everybody know what's going on with us. I was diagnosed with breast cancer today. We don't have any details; we will be meeting with my doctor next Thursday to find out our plan of action. There's a lot that we don't know, but there's a lot that we DO know:
1) This is not a surprise to God; He has my days already planned and he will be glorified through this journey.
2) Tony Boyd and I are blessed with the most incredible friends and family, and we know they will be with us!
3) I am so thankful for our girls, and that God made sure that Kelli was in the United States when we received this news!
4) We are excited to see how God works out each detail as we prepare to launch LF West - He knew what this week would bring, and He has plans for good and not evil!!
Thank you for praying for us! And it's okay if you want to hug me when you see me. Hugs will be allowed for a limited time!!
Thoughts from my girls:
October 17
We found out today that my mom has breast cancer, and I was able to see once again, her faith in action. She immediately saw this as an opportunity for God to use her story, to redeem what could appear life-shattering, to grow us all in our total trust in Him. Thankful for her example! Thank you for praying with us for her complete healing. God is good and faithful!
"GOD makes his people strong. GOD gives his people peace." (Psalm 29:11 MSG)
Kelli
October 17
Had quite an emotional day!
This morning we received our official appointment as Fully-appointed Missionaries with the Assemblies of God!! (Before, we were associates, so this transition means we're in it for the long haul, not just a year or two.) We plan on returning to Happy Horizons in one year, to expand and enhance the incredible ministry there. So thankful for the opportunity to serve at HHCR, and to be a part of AGWM!! #AGMD
This afternoon my mom, Kathy, was diagnosed with breast cancer. The doctor still needs to do more testing to determine the stage and treatment, but our world has been rocked.
God is with us, through the mountains AND the valleys. He is sovereign, and He never leaves us for one moment. I can't imagine facing this news without the knowledge that we have an all-powerful God, who sees us and loves us. So thankful for the HOPE that He brings!
I love you, Mom. It's all going to work out just the way it's supposed to.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)