January 25, 2015 - What it's like to lose your hair?

This is new territory for me and most of my friends - but this article by Melanie Haiken really articulates what it is like to deal with hair loss:

In the face of a life-threatening illness and treatment that's sometimes as painful as the illness itself, hair loss might seem like a small worry. But it's just the opposite: For many cancer patients, losing their hair is one of their biggest fears, and one of the most emotionally upsetting experiences of the whole cancer journey. However, there are ways to help someone cope with the emotional side of hair loss:

Don't be blindsided when the patient finds hair loss upsetting. 

It may come as a shock to find out just how big a deal hair loss can be during cancer treatment. You may be caught by surprise when tears well up as your friend or relative pulls clumps of hair out of her brush. It might feel to you like she's focusing on something superficial at a time when there are more important things to worry about, but it's not nearly that simple. It's a real loss, and patients need to grieve. Losing your hair is a tangible sign that everything is different, and it may trigger deep feelings. The person with cancer needs to be allowed to feel upset and work through it, rather than try to pretend those feelings aren't there. 

Realize that hair loss makes cancer patients feel exposed and vulnerable. 

For most people, hair loss is a public announcement of the fact that they've got cancer. All of a sudden, something that's private becomes public knowledge. Which also means your friend or relative is going to have to field comments and questions from people with whom they may not feel like talking about cancer. You can help by reminding the person that she doesn't have to respond to questions she doesn't want to answer. 

Understand that feelings about hair loss are feelings about change. 

When someone is going through cancer treatment and already feels scared and vulnerable, the threat of losing her hair can seem like the proverbial last straw. Cancer patients describe looking in the mirror and feeling like they're staring at a stranger. What could be more disorienting than not recognizing yourself? The best way to handle such intense feelings is to encourage the person to talk about them, and always to be a careful listener. Just saying, "I know this is really hard" and "I wish you didn't have to go through this" goes a long way.